I've always had issues with depression and anxiety ever since I was young. And it's really kept me from being able to enjoy anything. I notice though that it always peaks in the summer. I always hit some rut in the summer and I just can't figure out why. I try everything I can to make it better. Meditation, quality time with Cayle, time for myself, relaxation,lots of coffee, doing things to give myself peace of mind. But nothing works. I am still on edge all the time. I've been crying and not sleeping more this summer than I have in a very long time. And it really kills me to admit this because it makes me feel like a bad mother who can't deal with life. Almost like a crazy person. In my reality I KNOW that isn't true, but in my anxiety based reality I feel like a mad woman. And I don't really know how to explain myself other than I've suppressed the depression and dealt with the anxiety for years and it's made it's way to the surface.
Everything is a trigger. I went to the mall for the first time since I left Regis Hair Salon. And my heart raced when I walked in. I felt like everyone was looking at me. I felt my chest get tight. I had a panic about me. I can't be left alone at night without feeling trapped in my thoughts and worries. Part of me just wants to sleep constantly so I don't have to deal with anything that is bothering me. And the other half of me can't sleep at night. I've slept maybe 12-18 hours this week.
I am socially torn as well. I WANT to be able to do things with friends or family or whoever because part of me is sick of being alone all the time. Cayle and I go out and do things together all the time. But a 3 year old can only be so much company after a while. But the other side of me WANTS to be left alone. And whenever people talk to me (my family especially) I get pissed off and defensive. It's hard for me to want to go out and be around others. I don't enjoy going out with Cayle on the weekends because it is so crowded or loud. And that's not fair to him. I don't want people around me. I want to be left alone in whatever I was doing. It's this way all the time and I really don't know what to do with myself. I feel like a crazy person sometimes..I really do. I should be happy and worry free, and able to deal with problems head on.
I'm always worrying about the future. Money, job, moving out, making it on my own, relationships, motherhood, future events, and whatever else may be passing through my mind. It goes about a million miles a minute in all different directions. And it's hard to not get consumed by it. Money is always going to be a worry. I've come to understand this. Moving out is becoming more and more necessary by the day. Each day that goes by I feel more and more mediocre. I go work. I come home. Spend time with Cayle. Go to sleep in a dirty dusty basement where I have no personal space and nowhere to put my things. Nowhere to entertain friends if I had them. I don't even feel comfortable having Cayle down here. And he's been wanting to sleep with me at night. And that's hard when the only thing I want to do at night is lay down and cry. And wake up the next day to do it all over again. Ryan and I have had a first fight. Not even a fight..more like brutal honesty which has made me back away from him and now I'm a nervous wreck because of it. Which definitely doesn't make the situation any better. Don't know where we stand.. don't know with my mentality if I can get past it. Having my feelings dragged through the mud since I was 16 doesn't make it any better. The one man I find that doesn't want to hurt me says some things that hurt me and I want to run for the hills...or at least back up so I don't get my heart broken..and it makes me wonder if I'm ever going to be truly happy and unafraid of letting someone in completely. I just don't know where to turn.. I don't really speak to much of anyone anymore. Regis killed my social life. And now that I'm at a job where I am on a schedule where I could have a life if I wanted one I realize I don't have anyone to have a social life with. So I sit at home Fridays and Saturdays. Maybe go to Ryan's after Cayle is in bed but other than that I don't do anything. I take Cayle somewhere special a few times a month to try to make the most of our time together. No matter how bad I feel..I always try to put Cayle first. It just seems like everything emotionally has caught up to me and I'm backed into a corner.
I've considered therapy and thought that it could possibly help me..but telling my parents that I want to go talk to a therapist is terrifying because they will blow it out of the water. Worrying about me or whatever it may be. Then The social part of this whole thing will get worse. They will not leave me alone if I tell them I want therapy. And that will make me angry and the whole deal will blow up. And I'm just not ready to deal with that...I can't. I'm at wit's end as it is. Back at the end of 2009 I was on medicine for depression for 2 months and I quit taking them because I felt like being on medication would turn me into a zombie and Cayle would have a piece of crap for a mother too. He already had a crappy sperm donor..he doesn't need a crappy mother too. I don't want that for him. I want to be able to give him everything and be happy for him during the process. That alone just seems to be getting harder and harder. And I just have to put on a happy front for him..but I feel like when he gets older..he will realize his mother isn't happy and start to question it all. And I really want to fix this before it gets worse. But how can I? My parents don't respect me. I'm on their insurance. So I'd have to go through them if I wanted therapy. And that's not happening. I've tried natural remedies for depression and anxiety and that doesn't work. It knocks off the edge but it's still there.
Where can I go from here?
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
It's never too early to plan a birthday party!
I'm really into early planning and being prepared for what's to come. So I want to get a start on planning Cayle's birthday party.
As far as a theme, Cayle has really gotten into pirates. He watches a lot of Jake and the Neverland Pirates. And sometimes he calls me "Pirate Mommy" so what better way embrace that than a pirate birthday party/ Neverland Pirates party? I really enjoyed the venue I booked last year, but I am considering having the party at my house this year and renting a bouncy house in the shape of a Pirate ship. Cayle's parties aren't very big since I'm not close with my extended family and working at Regis killed my social life I don't have many friends anymore. And as far as food goes Daddy has volunteered to be King Of The Grill and do burgers and hot dogs.
Having the party at my house would cut the cost down a bit and with the leftover money I would like to take Cayle to Gatlinburg for a weekend. Just the two of us. It would be our first trip together. We could stay in a little cottage for $75 a night and maybe go to the aquarium or museums or something. I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. We may even be able to find something a little cheaper. But it'll be fun if I can pull it off!
I have a lot of expenses coming up within the next 5-7 months with the holidays and birthdays and festivities I hope I can pull it all off. If I prep now I know I can. :)
As far as a theme, Cayle has really gotten into pirates. He watches a lot of Jake and the Neverland Pirates. And sometimes he calls me "Pirate Mommy" so what better way embrace that than a pirate birthday party/ Neverland Pirates party? I really enjoyed the venue I booked last year, but I am considering having the party at my house this year and renting a bouncy house in the shape of a Pirate ship. Cayle's parties aren't very big since I'm not close with my extended family and working at Regis killed my social life I don't have many friends anymore. And as far as food goes Daddy has volunteered to be King Of The Grill and do burgers and hot dogs.
Having the party at my house would cut the cost down a bit and with the leftover money I would like to take Cayle to Gatlinburg for a weekend. Just the two of us. It would be our first trip together. We could stay in a little cottage for $75 a night and maybe go to the aquarium or museums or something. I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. We may even be able to find something a little cheaper. But it'll be fun if I can pull it off!
I have a lot of expenses coming up within the next 5-7 months with the holidays and birthdays and festivities I hope I can pull it all off. If I prep now I know I can. :)
Friday, June 7, 2013
You can't keep this girl down.
Guess who found a new job? This girl. That trailer trash lady (her salon is in a trailer) who turned me down after 3 weeks is losing one hell of a stylist. I may not be the best out there but I have a passion and drive to where I won't quit. This salon is called Flip Hair Studio. It's much nicer than where I was. I get Sundays and Mondays off. I can even take a Saturday every now and then if I want one. I get 60% of my service sales. They even pay me to shampoo and style their clients. I can sell whatever retail I want. I can keep all of that money. I can use any product lines I want. I can wear whatever I want. I can make my own hours. They let me promote myself any way I want. Which is awesome! Everyone is pretty nice. I think it was a blessing in disguise to be let go after 3 weeks at the other place. The best thing I can do now is promote myself and get my finances built back up.
I've been thinking a lot about the future for Cayle and myself. And I've come to the realization that if I keep doing the same things I won't get to where I want to be. So my plan is to rebuild my savings account (from job hopping it was completely shot) and really try to get everything ready and stable so Cayle and I can be on our own one day. I couldn't stand Regis salon another day. Even though it was steady pay, for one thing it wasn't enough for what I want to do with my life, my boss screwed me over, and I need to be in a place like where I am now so I can be there for my son. All the money in the world can't stop me from being a mommy. That's always going to be my most important job. At work I am going to give my 200% effort into everything. With clients, helping out around the salon, to self marketing. I really want this place to work so I can be a family with my son.
I've also thought about my physical being. How I want to be healthy and in shape for not only myself but for Cayle. It's not good for him to see me indulge in unhealthy habits such as fast food, drinking sodas like there's no tomorrow, and bumming on the couch when it's too nice outside to be indoors. I have never been a summer lover. I hate it to be completely honest. I much rather prefer Autumn where I can step outside and feel crisp cool air on my face and a feeling of comfort consumes me. But whether I want it or not..Summer is here so I think it's best if I try to embrace it. Enjoy things like fireworks and festivals and play time with Cayle in the yard. So with all of this being said I want to try to embrace some healthier habits. Drink more water, pack a healthy lunch, spend some time outside with Cayle. In the end it'll pay off. And by Autumn hopefully some weight will have dropped and I can get some nice outfits for Fall. Being in this new place..all the girls come to work looking very polished and definitely more my taste so I'm definitely going to have to step up my game in the fashion department. I wear dresses but it's definitley not enough.
So game plan is to build finances, clientele, drop some weight, and go at it with guns blazing!!
I've been thinking a lot about the future for Cayle and myself. And I've come to the realization that if I keep doing the same things I won't get to where I want to be. So my plan is to rebuild my savings account (from job hopping it was completely shot) and really try to get everything ready and stable so Cayle and I can be on our own one day. I couldn't stand Regis salon another day. Even though it was steady pay, for one thing it wasn't enough for what I want to do with my life, my boss screwed me over, and I need to be in a place like where I am now so I can be there for my son. All the money in the world can't stop me from being a mommy. That's always going to be my most important job. At work I am going to give my 200% effort into everything. With clients, helping out around the salon, to self marketing. I really want this place to work so I can be a family with my son.
I've also thought about my physical being. How I want to be healthy and in shape for not only myself but for Cayle. It's not good for him to see me indulge in unhealthy habits such as fast food, drinking sodas like there's no tomorrow, and bumming on the couch when it's too nice outside to be indoors. I have never been a summer lover. I hate it to be completely honest. I much rather prefer Autumn where I can step outside and feel crisp cool air on my face and a feeling of comfort consumes me. But whether I want it or not..Summer is here so I think it's best if I try to embrace it. Enjoy things like fireworks and festivals and play time with Cayle in the yard. So with all of this being said I want to try to embrace some healthier habits. Drink more water, pack a healthy lunch, spend some time outside with Cayle. In the end it'll pay off. And by Autumn hopefully some weight will have dropped and I can get some nice outfits for Fall. Being in this new place..all the girls come to work looking very polished and definitely more my taste so I'm definitely going to have to step up my game in the fashion department. I wear dresses but it's definitley not enough.
So game plan is to build finances, clientele, drop some weight, and go at it with guns blazing!!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Summer is always a bad time for me..
As most of you know I started a new job three weeks ago. And I was really happy to be working in a place that fit my schedule and where people were nicer. Just as I'm starting to get the swing of things.. sh*t hits the fan. I get a phone call from Monika ( my boss) saying that it's slowed down and she doesn't need me anymore. That I need to go somewhere else. Somewhere that pays hourly. It's really funny how all of a sudden she doesn't need me anymore. After she gets caught up. After I teach her a few things. My old boss from Regis does her hair..and all this happened right after. I bet you money that old hag had something to do with this.. So long story short..I am out of a job. And I have no idea what I'm going to do..Any and all clientele I had has been kicked out from under me because of her. I'm at a low point. Finding a new job just seems so hard because I looked for 2 months before I left Regis. I don't want to be in another chain salon because they suck the life out of you and they don't care about whether you have family or not. That was the problem with Regis. I worked until 10 every night. I worked every holiday. Almost missed Cayle's birthday. And it's just not something I want to get sucked into again. It's not good for Cayle. I'll give up doing hair before I work all night again. Most private salons want you to have a clientele and to pay booth rent. Booth rent ranges from 75 to 175 dollars a week. And you have to have a clientele to pay for something like that. But if I could get in somewhere I would be able to be my own boss. Which would be wonderful..but finding someone that would understand my situation and everything that's happened is hard these days. Daddy even offered to help me start my own business. That's always an option..but again..clientele. Regis clientele weren't loyal so it didn't help much. Part of me wants to give up and just find a job that is 9 ti 5 and pays good whether it's hair or not. Part of me wants to keep going..but it takes time. Time is a luxury I don't really have..I want out of my parent's house. I want to be able to have my own place and not try to raise a family out of someone else's home..And I'm trying everything I can possibly do. Mom even suggested I clean the house for money again. But what she pays isn't enough. It's enough for a tank of gas. And I want my own money. Not someone else's. I'm at a loss at this point. I really don't know where to go from here...
On a positive note..Ryan met my family. And it couldn't have gone better. My family really likes him. Dad especially. He came over for BBQ and drinks. Ryan even taught me how to fish. He had a big bass hooked and it got away so he let me try to fish for him. And I hooked him and had him reeled all the way in and he got off the hook. And then Ryan tried one more time and had him half way reeled in and he got off the hook again! Daddy really enjoyed meeting him. He kept inviting him over and out places which he never does. Ryan and Mom had fun talking. They cracked up about everything. I'm glad the whole 'meeting the family' thing is over and we can move on.
Ryan has been so supportive and understanding about this whole job ordeal. He said he would help me find something and that Monika is losing one hell of a stylist. And she's going to find herself in a world of trouble when she doesn't have any help. He always has a way to make me smile when I'm worried to no end. And it's the way he is that makes me think that we could go far and that maybe..just maybe he's the one. We don't get to go out on the town often..but we make up for it in other ways. We go when we can and if not we stay in and cook or watch movies or go for a drive. He's just an amazing guy. And in a way he's my best friend. And I think that's what makes us thrive. I can say anything or look at him and he knows exactly what I'm thinking or talking about. I think it's safe to say I like him. Hahah.
This is completely random..but Ryan has got me turned on to this show 'The Walking Dead'. If anyone has paid any mind to my pinterest page or facebook..you'll notice I watched all 3 seasons in a week. Normally I don't like zombies because they're kinda..overrated but this is amazing. I love Daryl he's my favorite character. I like that Ryan and I have something to bond over.
On a positive note..Ryan met my family. And it couldn't have gone better. My family really likes him. Dad especially. He came over for BBQ and drinks. Ryan even taught me how to fish. He had a big bass hooked and it got away so he let me try to fish for him. And I hooked him and had him reeled all the way in and he got off the hook. And then Ryan tried one more time and had him half way reeled in and he got off the hook again! Daddy really enjoyed meeting him. He kept inviting him over and out places which he never does. Ryan and Mom had fun talking. They cracked up about everything. I'm glad the whole 'meeting the family' thing is over and we can move on.
Ryan has been so supportive and understanding about this whole job ordeal. He said he would help me find something and that Monika is losing one hell of a stylist. And she's going to find herself in a world of trouble when she doesn't have any help. He always has a way to make me smile when I'm worried to no end. And it's the way he is that makes me think that we could go far and that maybe..just maybe he's the one. We don't get to go out on the town often..but we make up for it in other ways. We go when we can and if not we stay in and cook or watch movies or go for a drive. He's just an amazing guy. And in a way he's my best friend. And I think that's what makes us thrive. I can say anything or look at him and he knows exactly what I'm thinking or talking about. I think it's safe to say I like him. Hahah.
This is completely random..but Ryan has got me turned on to this show 'The Walking Dead'. If anyone has paid any mind to my pinterest page or facebook..you'll notice I watched all 3 seasons in a week. Normally I don't like zombies because they're kinda..overrated but this is amazing. I love Daryl he's my favorite character. I like that Ryan and I have something to bond over.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
I'm such a bad blogger..but I'm gonna get better!!
I haven't been on this thing in almost 2 months! That's awful!! I'm still alive people! Haha. I have so much news I think my head is going to explode!
Firstly....drum roll please...I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!! I couldn't be happier. I've been there 3 weeks and I'm already getting people calling and scheduling with me! How awesome is that?!? My new place is called Salon Monika. It's privately owned, I make my own schedule, I get all the walk-ins, 60% commission, Sundays off, freedom to wear whatever I please, and everyone there treats me with respect! They really like my work and they make me feel good about my abilities. No more mall for me! This place is only 15 minutes from my house and I work 2 streets away from Ryan and right around the corner from my mom. It's pretty sweet. Plus being away from the mall is better for my wallet. Not to mention I'm bringing in almost double what I made at Regis.
Cayle is doing fantastic. We've been doing all sorts of things together in order to make this summer a fresh start. Summers before haven't been a good time in my life for me but this year I am determined to change it. So I've started a bucket list. In the past couple of months that I haven't been on here, Cayle and I have been out for frozen yogurt (that's our new favorite thing), we've been to the aquarium, I've changed my hair color, we've been to the Chattanooga Choo Choo model railroad, I've met Ryan's mom and stepfather, I've gone to two concerts (Sister Hazel and Luke Bryan and Luke Bryan actually spoke to me!), I took Cayle fishing for the first time with Daddy and my brother, and so much more! I can't even think of it all!
Ryan and I are still crazy about each other. I met his mother a few weeks ago. She was so fun to be around. And she loves Cayle! She even came up with a nickname for Cayle to call Ryan (Ry Ry). She even stopped by to say hi to me at work, and according to Monika (she knows Ryan's mom) she never stops to talk so she must like me. He was even sweet enough to think of me on Mother's day and bought me one of my favorite chocolate treats. He's meeting my family on Memorial day weekend at our annual cookout. I'm excited but nervous. Mom seems to like him from what I've told her about him. And Dad hasn't said much but Ryan reminds me a lot of my Dad so I think they'll really hit it off.
Mother's Day was so great! Daddy made mom and me breakfast, "Cayle" got me a new charm for my pandora bracelet. It says "Loving Mother" on it. He also got me a collection of Elvis movies!! I have a new obsession with Elvis Presley lately. Not too sure why. I just watched one of his movies the other night and I fell in love. I got Mom a gift certificate to her favorite makeup place and a cd she's been wanting. Then Cayle kept saying he wanted to go fishing so I went out and bought him a pole. Daddy and I walked him down to the lake behind my house and took him fishing. He caught three little fish. He was so proud! And so was I. Daddy made the moms dinner on the grill and it turned out to be a very relaxing day with my family.
I mentioned earlier about going to a few concerts over the past month. I went to go see a band I grew up listening to called Sister Hazel. They played at Rhythm and Brews downtown and I HAD to go! I knew every song they did and I couldn't help but smile. They sounded exactly like they did 10 years ago.
Anyone that knows me (or pays attention to my facebook page) knows that I am madly in love with two men. One being the actor Channing Tatum and the other being the country artist Luke Bryan. Well guess who got to see Luke in concert!? Yours truly. I was so excited!!!! He played downtown at Track 29. I camped out in the sun all day to make sure I got a good spot. But baking in the sun came with a price..after 7 hours in the sun waiting for the doors of the venue to open I rushed to the very front. Center stage. 5 feet away from the stage. While waiting for the show to start...I pass out from dehydration. I wake up and two security people are carrying me away from my spot. I kept trying to insist that I was fine and To put me back in my spot but they sat me in a chair outside and got me water. They promised that they would get me my spot back. They walked away to go take care of something..and about the time they walked away....LUKE BRYAN came out of the door right next to the chair I was sitting in! My eyes got HUGE. He looked down at me and asked "Are you ok?" I guess I looked pretty rough. I managed to squeak "Yeah I'm better now". And he smiled and walked on to his bus. I was in complete shock. I guess I was in the right place at the right time. That will more than likely never happen again but I'm happy I passed out as odd as that was to say. And i did manage to get my spot back center stage. And after the Luke concert Ryan and I watched the meteor shower snuggled up on a big blanket outside in his back yard. I'd say this summer seems to be very promising.
I am trying to really embrace life now that I'm not working a ridiculous schedule anymore. With that being said I am going to see a group that were on my bucket list to see. They're called Celtic Thunder. They're a group of men from Ireland who sing Celtic Folk music. I managed to get a seat really close. I am four rows back stage left. This show is in Knoxville but it's not until October, but it'll give me something to look forward to this summer.
This Summer Cayle and I are going to really embrace everything. I wanna take him to fire works, baseball games, fishing, parks, whatever I can to create memories. Making the move from Regis to Salon Monika was probably the best move I could've made. I am so much happier for one thing. And so is Cayle. He's even said "I'm so glad you're home mommy". I was scared to do it because of the cash flow and leaving what was comfortable, but it turned out to be a great thing. Now I feel like I can really go far.
This is who I am going to see in the Fall.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=D0KZjmiL7xs
Firstly....drum roll please...I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!! I couldn't be happier. I've been there 3 weeks and I'm already getting people calling and scheduling with me! How awesome is that?!? My new place is called Salon Monika. It's privately owned, I make my own schedule, I get all the walk-ins, 60% commission, Sundays off, freedom to wear whatever I please, and everyone there treats me with respect! They really like my work and they make me feel good about my abilities. No more mall for me! This place is only 15 minutes from my house and I work 2 streets away from Ryan and right around the corner from my mom. It's pretty sweet. Plus being away from the mall is better for my wallet. Not to mention I'm bringing in almost double what I made at Regis.
Cayle is doing fantastic. We've been doing all sorts of things together in order to make this summer a fresh start. Summers before haven't been a good time in my life for me but this year I am determined to change it. So I've started a bucket list. In the past couple of months that I haven't been on here, Cayle and I have been out for frozen yogurt (that's our new favorite thing), we've been to the aquarium, I've changed my hair color, we've been to the Chattanooga Choo Choo model railroad, I've met Ryan's mom and stepfather, I've gone to two concerts (Sister Hazel and Luke Bryan and Luke Bryan actually spoke to me!), I took Cayle fishing for the first time with Daddy and my brother, and so much more! I can't even think of it all!
Ryan and I are still crazy about each other. I met his mother a few weeks ago. She was so fun to be around. And she loves Cayle! She even came up with a nickname for Cayle to call Ryan (Ry Ry). She even stopped by to say hi to me at work, and according to Monika (she knows Ryan's mom) she never stops to talk so she must like me. He was even sweet enough to think of me on Mother's day and bought me one of my favorite chocolate treats. He's meeting my family on Memorial day weekend at our annual cookout. I'm excited but nervous. Mom seems to like him from what I've told her about him. And Dad hasn't said much but Ryan reminds me a lot of my Dad so I think they'll really hit it off.
Mother's Day was so great! Daddy made mom and me breakfast, "Cayle" got me a new charm for my pandora bracelet. It says "Loving Mother" on it. He also got me a collection of Elvis movies!! I have a new obsession with Elvis Presley lately. Not too sure why. I just watched one of his movies the other night and I fell in love. I got Mom a gift certificate to her favorite makeup place and a cd she's been wanting. Then Cayle kept saying he wanted to go fishing so I went out and bought him a pole. Daddy and I walked him down to the lake behind my house and took him fishing. He caught three little fish. He was so proud! And so was I. Daddy made the moms dinner on the grill and it turned out to be a very relaxing day with my family.
I mentioned earlier about going to a few concerts over the past month. I went to go see a band I grew up listening to called Sister Hazel. They played at Rhythm and Brews downtown and I HAD to go! I knew every song they did and I couldn't help but smile. They sounded exactly like they did 10 years ago.
Anyone that knows me (or pays attention to my facebook page) knows that I am madly in love with two men. One being the actor Channing Tatum and the other being the country artist Luke Bryan. Well guess who got to see Luke in concert!? Yours truly. I was so excited!!!! He played downtown at Track 29. I camped out in the sun all day to make sure I got a good spot. But baking in the sun came with a price..after 7 hours in the sun waiting for the doors of the venue to open I rushed to the very front. Center stage. 5 feet away from the stage. While waiting for the show to start...I pass out from dehydration. I wake up and two security people are carrying me away from my spot. I kept trying to insist that I was fine and To put me back in my spot but they sat me in a chair outside and got me water. They promised that they would get me my spot back. They walked away to go take care of something..and about the time they walked away....LUKE BRYAN came out of the door right next to the chair I was sitting in! My eyes got HUGE. He looked down at me and asked "Are you ok?" I guess I looked pretty rough. I managed to squeak "Yeah I'm better now". And he smiled and walked on to his bus. I was in complete shock. I guess I was in the right place at the right time. That will more than likely never happen again but I'm happy I passed out as odd as that was to say. And i did manage to get my spot back center stage. And after the Luke concert Ryan and I watched the meteor shower snuggled up on a big blanket outside in his back yard. I'd say this summer seems to be very promising.
I am trying to really embrace life now that I'm not working a ridiculous schedule anymore. With that being said I am going to see a group that were on my bucket list to see. They're called Celtic Thunder. They're a group of men from Ireland who sing Celtic Folk music. I managed to get a seat really close. I am four rows back stage left. This show is in Knoxville but it's not until October, but it'll give me something to look forward to this summer.
This Summer Cayle and I are going to really embrace everything. I wanna take him to fire works, baseball games, fishing, parks, whatever I can to create memories. Making the move from Regis to Salon Monika was probably the best move I could've made. I am so much happier for one thing. And so is Cayle. He's even said "I'm so glad you're home mommy". I was scared to do it because of the cash flow and leaving what was comfortable, but it turned out to be a great thing. Now I feel like I can really go far.
This is who I am going to see in the Fall.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=D0KZjmiL7xs
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Things are changing..
I just celebrated my 21st birthday and boy was that fun! I got a spray tan, my nails done, and treated myself to a little shopping. My parents took me to dinner. My boyfriend, Ryan, took me to lunch. One of my best friends treated me to drinks. I got 2 new charms for my pandora bracelet and several birthday cards. I'll go ahead and say it. I don't remember much after getting to the Honest Pint. But I was sure to have a DD and I was completely safe about it. I do remember puking my guts up 3 times though.
Cayle's Easter basket is complete. I can't wait for everyone to see it. It has all of his favorite things in it. I also decided to get his picture made with the Easter bunny one day this week.
I have some major news!! I have 2 interviews this week on the same day! Both of the managers called me from Sports Clips asking me to come in. I'm excited. They pay more than Regis does. The only downsides are that I'm leaving my friends at Regis and the clientele I have. But to be honest..I have to go where the money goes. I'm not making enough. There are too many people at Regis. And my schedule sucks to be frank. I'm really going to take my time and find out about this one. I don't want to go from bad to worse. Sports Clips isn't my ideal salon but I'm keeping an open mind and hoping this will be my ticket out of Regis.
I have not mentioned to anyone about the boyfriend. We've been dating officially for 2 months, but I've known him since July of 2012. We talked on and off and back in October I txted him spur of the moment and told him that I missed him and wanted to hang out..we've been together almost every weekend since then. Cayle has met him a couple times and he really likes to play with him. Ryan is 28, has his own house, a car, a job, and things keep getting better for us. He has yet to meet my family, but keeps hinting that he wants to. So we will see. I'm in no hurry for anything of course but I'm definitely happy to have him.
Wish me luck on my interviews!
Cayle's Easter basket is complete. I can't wait for everyone to see it. It has all of his favorite things in it. I also decided to get his picture made with the Easter bunny one day this week.
I have some major news!! I have 2 interviews this week on the same day! Both of the managers called me from Sports Clips asking me to come in. I'm excited. They pay more than Regis does. The only downsides are that I'm leaving my friends at Regis and the clientele I have. But to be honest..I have to go where the money goes. I'm not making enough. There are too many people at Regis. And my schedule sucks to be frank. I'm really going to take my time and find out about this one. I don't want to go from bad to worse. Sports Clips isn't my ideal salon but I'm keeping an open mind and hoping this will be my ticket out of Regis.
I have not mentioned to anyone about the boyfriend. We've been dating officially for 2 months, but I've known him since July of 2012. We talked on and off and back in October I txted him spur of the moment and told him that I missed him and wanted to hang out..we've been together almost every weekend since then. Cayle has met him a couple times and he really likes to play with him. Ryan is 28, has his own house, a car, a job, and things keep getting better for us. He has yet to meet my family, but keeps hinting that he wants to. So we will see. I'm in no hurry for anything of course but I'm definitely happy to have him.
Wish me luck on my interviews!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
A lot going on for Cayle.
I haven't been still long enough to post to this thing..and I really should make more time to blog! But Cayle and I have been busy busy! I took him to Chuck E. Cheese for the first time last week. Mom went with us. It was actually really nice to have her with us. She liked helping Cayle play the games. We ended up winning 300 tickets, but we are saving them for our next trip. Things there have changed so much since I was a kid. The cleanliness and customer service are so much better.
Cayle has successfully made the transition from crib to toddler bed! He just decided one night he wanted to sleep in what he calls "Cayle's bed" and didn't think twice about it. And he's really good about staying in bed all night. Now if only potty training was that easy! In order to give him more space in his room...I put his crib on craigslist..and it sold really fast. It's happy but sad. My baby is growing up on me. He's the only one I'm ever going to have (that I'm planning on). I try to hold on to every moment together because once it's gone..it's gone. The lady is coming to pick it up Saturday I believe so hopefully that goes well.
Easter is coming. I'm contemplating having a picture done with the Easter bunny. What do you guys think? I have to make Cayle's basket too. Not too sure what to put in it. I'm thinking about keeping it simple. He likes things like stickers, bubbles, hot wheels, jelly beans, crayons. I'll look and see what I can find.
I've always been crafty. But I'm thinking about starting to make wreaths for the door abd either giving them away as gifts or selling them. I can make them for next to nothing and turn around and sell them for double what I spent on making them. Cayle could even help me.
I think I've settled on a car. Who's to say my mind won't change. But I've narrowed it down to a Chevy. Either an Equinox or a HHR. Daddy is taking me test driving this weekend because I am so tired of not having a clear idea of what I want. We will just have to see!
Cayle has successfully made the transition from crib to toddler bed! He just decided one night he wanted to sleep in what he calls "Cayle's bed" and didn't think twice about it. And he's really good about staying in bed all night. Now if only potty training was that easy! In order to give him more space in his room...I put his crib on craigslist..and it sold really fast. It's happy but sad. My baby is growing up on me. He's the only one I'm ever going to have (that I'm planning on). I try to hold on to every moment together because once it's gone..it's gone. The lady is coming to pick it up Saturday I believe so hopefully that goes well.
Easter is coming. I'm contemplating having a picture done with the Easter bunny. What do you guys think? I have to make Cayle's basket too. Not too sure what to put in it. I'm thinking about keeping it simple. He likes things like stickers, bubbles, hot wheels, jelly beans, crayons. I'll look and see what I can find.
I've always been crafty. But I'm thinking about starting to make wreaths for the door abd either giving them away as gifts or selling them. I can make them for next to nothing and turn around and sell them for double what I spent on making them. Cayle could even help me.
I think I've settled on a car. Who's to say my mind won't change. But I've narrowed it down to a Chevy. Either an Equinox or a HHR. Daddy is taking me test driving this weekend because I am so tired of not having a clear idea of what I want. We will just have to see!
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