"My Teenage Dream Ended" by Farrah Abraham.

I broke down and bought this book 2 weeks ago. As most of you know Farrah was one of the stars of the MTV show Teen Mom. I have a strong connection with Farrah's story for multiple reasons. One being that Farrah is very independent. She keeps pushing herself and trying to do the best she could for her daughter. Another being that she wanted to move far away to really spread her wings with her child. Both are very important to me. Her book really goes beyond what you saw on the show. I definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a good read. It made me really think about how I have so many goals and dreams and how I want to work my butt off to make all those dreams a reality. Moral of the story being dreams don't die; new ones are created every single day. Things might now turn out how you see them but everything has a way of falling into place, and if you keep pushing yourself and have your eyes on the prize eventually you will get there. And it just really inspired me to keep going. And trying my hardest to make the best possible life for me and my son. I loved reading this book and really hope someone I know reads it too.

Valentine's Day

Today was a really good Valentine's day! This morning Cayle and I got up and I made our breakfast. I gave him his Valentine. I got him a card, a TY beanie baby, a book, some candy, and "Be My Valentine Charlie Brown". He was so happy with it. Daddy got me a dozen roses, some Hershey kisses, a card, and a new charm for my Pandora bracelet. Mom got me some new socks with animal print on them. I was so spoiled.

I went to check out the Childcare Network today. And it was a nice daycare, but apparently they do not offer just one day a week. So that kind of ticked me off a little bit because I'm back to square one as far as finding someone to keep him while I go to work on Mondays. My cousin is an option, but I really want him to get to be around other kids and to learn. So we will see what happens.

I've decided to really try to work with Cayle on potty training. I've tried in the past, but he wanted no part in it. So I figured he would try when he felt ready, but he hasn't felt ready. So I went to Walmart to today to get some things to give him a step in the right direction. I got a new potty seat that goes on the toilet in the bathroom, some gold stars for a potty chart, and some big boy underwear. Both the potty seat and the underwear have Disney Cars characters on them so I thought those would be perfect. And sure enough when we brought it home, he wanted to sit on the potty. And he did for about 15 minutes, but no luck with actually getting him to go. It's a start at least. I also got him some books from the Dollar Tree to help him learn to write his letters, identify shapes, colors, and numbers. He already knows all of these things but I don't see anything wrong with doing some lessons during the day.

Tonight we went to dinner with Mom and Daddy to a Mexican place. Daddy surprised me with my charm to my bracelet. I love it! All in all, it was a good day. Here's some pictures from our today!

Everything is happening so fast!!

Today I had a meeting this morning at work to go over everything coming up. My boss (Terrie) asked me and a girl I worked with (Sarah) to stay afterwards to talk. I was kinda nervous. But it turned out to be a good thing! My boss has agreed to give me a Monday day shift so not all my shifts have me here until 9! Sarah is going down to part time and needed a night shift and I wanted her day shift so we got to switch! So the start of my work week will be like this:

Sunday 12-6
Monday 9-5
Tuesday off day
Wednesday 3-9
Thursday off day
Friday 3-9
Saturday 3-9

so I can live with that for now. The first have will be days and off days. And the second half will be nights. It's better than no day shifts at all. With this being said.. Cayle will need care during the Monday I'm not home with him during the day. Normally, my cousin keeps him, but I feel as if Cayle is getting to the point where he needs to be around other kids. Little boys more so than anything. So I'm considering pre school one day a week. I'm touring a school tomorrow at noon to see what I think. They've quoted a price of $30 a week for the one day which I don't think you can beat. The thought of Cayle going to school saddens me..it makes me feel like he's growing up way too fast and as much as I try to hold onto him being small and loving me and being attached to my hip I know it can't stay that way. I hate the fact he has to grow up. But he needs kid time. He isn't around kids his age often so it'll be good for him to get that.

Another positive outcome from the meeting this morning is that I get to have my birthday off! That'll be so great! I have to work for a girl on her birthday but in return she will work for my birthday :)

And last positive outcome from the meeting, my vacation time I requested got approved! I get a weeks paid vacation starting October 30th through November 6th. So Cayle and I will have Halloween, his birthday, and his birthday party all together. And if all goes as planned I will have a little get away planned for us to Gatlinburg. Just depends on money and on the new car situation.

Now for the negative. March is customer appreciation month. I will be working 8 hour shifts every day I'm scheduled to work. And two 12 hour long shifts on Saturdays. It breaks my heart..I don't want to be away from Cayle that much..Cayle and I have been getting so close and I'm so scared that work is going to get in the way of all the bonding we've been doing. I know it's only a month...but I'm not happy about it. Sometimes I feel like this job can suck the life out of me. But it'll pay off in the long run when I get where I want to be in my life. I'm just going to take control of the direction I want to go with my life and go test drive some cars this weekend before I don't have time to with Customer Appreciation month. Wish me luck.

Family Day with Cayle!

Today was my day off and on my days off I like to take Cayle somewhere special. And here lately, I've been running out of ideas so I decided to try something new. We went to the movies together for the first time! Our day was packed with fun!

First I had to run a quick errand at the salon store and pick up a brush and a client profile book so I could keep better record of my chemicals I've done. Afterwards, just for fun, we drove by a house that I looked at on Crye Leike. Perfect little town home for the 2 of us. Then after that Cayle and I went to dinner at Steak 'n' Shake. We got milkshakes and a really good meal! We went to Babies 'R' Us and Cayle picked out some cups he wanted and I looked into booster seats for him. It's time for a booster seat and I want to get an idea of what will be good for him and what is the safest one out there. Then we went to the Dollar Tree and got our snacks for the movie.

Cayle was so excited to go to the movies! We ended up seeing Hotel Transylvania.I can honestly say that's one of the cutest movies I've seen in a very long time. It wasn't scary at all even though it had monsters in it. He sat through almost all of it which is a great! Now we can go to movies more often. It was fun being the only 2 people in the whole theater. I love our family time together and it's always fun to try new things with him. Can't wait to see what we do next!

New starts and relieving stress.

I have been working for about 3 weeks now on clearing out the "clutter" in my life. Things that bother me, stress me out, or I've been putting off, I've been working to change that. I spent 4 nights clearing the clutter out of my living space. I threw away a garbage bag full of old socks, underwear, and torn up clothes, 4 bags of stuff I didn't wear anymore including shoes, coats, t shirts, jeans, pajamas and more! I threw away 3 bags of old papers, trash, junk that I haven't looked at in years, and things that held bad memories. I did all of my laundry and got my closet color coordinated. I even cleaned out my car! I threw away 2 bags full of trash and crap that my ex fiance had left in the car. I vacuumed it out and got a cherry scented air freshener! I've washed my sheets and caught up on my scrapbook for Cayle! The living space and car have looked better than they have in years! I've noticed that I'm falling asleep earlier and relaxing at night more. That may have been the problem all along as to why I couldn't sleep.

But that's not all! I even got my taxes done! Now I'm just waiting for my return! I'm very excited about that. With the money, I've decided to put it all towards my down payment on a car. I almost have enough for a good down payment. I'm having the hardest time deciding on what I want though! I'm considering a larger sedan but not an SUV. After driving my mother's SUV, it's just too much car for me and I don't want something that pretty much drinks gas. I've looked at a Honda Accord, Toyota Camry, Kia Optima, and the Ford Focus. Toyota Camry and the Honda Accord are at the the tip top of my list. And I've been able to find some good deals on both. So it's just a matter of test driving now and seeing what I like better. I'll be happy once I have a set make and model instead of just shooting in the dark.

I've been working on my "5 year plan" or my vision of how I see my life with Cayle in the next few years. And I see myself with a shiny new car (which will be the one I'm about to purchase) a beautiful town home, Cayle and myself being our own happy family with tons of family traditions and more love than anyone could ever know. I see my house having things exactly the way I have in my head. Glam with a personal touch in every room. Lots of family photos on the wall. Here lately, I've fallen in love with the idea of having a French Bulldog puppy. I think they're adorable. And by the time I have my house, I'll have a yard and I can have a puppy. Whatever home I decide on it needs to have a yard, a garage, 2-3 bedrooms and a place for family time. By then hopefully I'll have a better job (or better hours at the one I have now). Right now it's just a matter of time before I can put this plan into motion.

I'm also trying something this year. I want to take my vacation time this year right around Halloween. This way I'll have Halloween, Cayle's birthday, and Cayle's birthday party off! But not only that I want to do something special with him this year and take our first family vacation alone pending on my new car situation. I think a couple days in Gatlinburg will be wonderful! It'll be almost like a big birthday present. We can go to the aquarium and the Ripley's museum and all sorts of fun stuff up there! It'll be so fun. If I can find a place that's reasonably priced I want to take him. It's not far, but it's relaxing. Now it's just a matter of getting everything ready. Money, car, and time off. Things feel like they're coming together.