Soo routine..and one im about sick of.

I got to thinking today. Everything is kind of getting on my nerves. I feel like I'm left alone too much. Today..cayle played pretty much by himself and didn't wanna play with me for more than a few minutes. Dad was gone. Mom didn't have anything to say after I did her hair. My brother was off with my nephews..I dunno..I just get sick of being by myself so much. Granted, I saw Christina yesterday and Kay on Friday..but other than that...I'm pretty much by myself. I'm by myself at school..I mean there is this one girl there who talks my ear off..but you never know what to believe with her..and she always talks about herself. I mean..I make small talk but half the time there..I'm by myself. I do my assignments for the night and the rest of the time..I'm wandering around the school looking for someone to talk to. I'm home alone all day and by the time I get home at night everyone's asleep or almost asleep.. I dunno. I guess I'm just missing Adam. And realizing I am by myself too much. And I'm realizing even more how much I hate it..

I feel an ulcer coming on..

I really do..my stomach pains are intense..enough to make me vomit. I don't know what to do..Everyone has been snapping at me today. Alright day, horrible night. After Kay and I finished hanging out..my night went to hell. I really don't wanna say much..it's just nights like these I wish I could just pack up and leave and not tell anyone where I'm going. And I can guarantee If plane tickets were free. I wouldnt be here.

My heart's going to Georgia.

I won't see Adam for a month. And I've been pretty down. I've been crying a bit..and I never cry. I feel like my other half is going to be missing for a month. At least we got to spend his last night in town together. We went to hobby lobby to look at wedding stuff.We found alot of things we liked. He told me he's giving me 1,000 dollars when he gets back to buy some wedding stuff. Hopefully, if I budget it right. It'll get alot 60-70 percent of the decor and stuff. And possibly invitations. Invitations are expensive. Depending on where you go. So at least that's something to look forward to. I can pick our stuff out while he's gone. I'm gonna try to stay as busy as possible. We had dinner at this restraunt called little tokyo. We got to sit and talk. I was so happy to get to spend his last night in town with him. We even got to cuddle in the jeep and listen to music and stuff. When it came time for me to go to class..I cried my eyes out..I cried all the way to school. And teared up at school. I'm such a cry baby. I guess it'll be me and cayle for the month. It'll be nice bonding time though. With all thats been going on.. we could use it. Maybe I can take him to the park or for a wagon ride tomorrow if it's nice out. Saturday if all goes to plan, Cayle and I are going to rock city with Christina, Grace, her fiance Chris, and the little bun in the oven. They're turnign the waterfall green.! And making green fudge (not that i'm eating any. I just think it's cool.) It'll definietly get my mind off of everything. I have a big test on thursday. Wish me luck.

Sweet.!

Adam's aunt Robin asked me to perm (to permanently curl the hair using rods and a chemical) her hair today. I've never done a spiral perm on an actual person, however I have done a basic perm on my mannequin for state board. I did a spiral perm for her today. And it turned out much better than expected. She was really pleased with it..pleased enough to pay me twenty dollars when I had already been paid that morning for a hair cut. 40.00 pay in one day.? I could get used to this. Hahaha. Seriously though, it's great to get a taste of what it will be like when I actually get out there and start working on people who come in. And getting paid to do what I love. It cant get any better than that.! It doesnt look too shabby for my first go at a spiral perm. Tomorrow, Kay and I are gonna hang out. Not too sure what the plan is yet but I think we're doing lunch and going wedding shopping. I have to make another payment on my dress tuesday. I'll have it paid off by the end of next month. I really wanna get rid of some old clothes. I have NOOOOO room in my closet for anything. I guess I'll make a generous donation to goodwill. I know there are people out there that would kill to have a few new clothes. And it will give me closet space. :) Adam leaves wednesday..it seems like the time before he leaves time goes fast..and when he's gone..it goes so slow. I really don't know what I'm gonna do with myself..

Date night. :)

It wouldn't have been possible without Kay. She agreed to keep Cayle for a few hours so Adam and I could have a night for us before he goes out of town. And to show her my appreciation..I bought her her favorite thing..Starbucks. Haha. Adam and I went to Amigo's to eat. And it was soo delicious. I know I'm dieting so I worked out twice as hard tonight to make up for it. It was really relaxing to be able to have a meal and just talk. After that we went to the discount movie theater to see harry potter and the deathly hallows. And this part of the date made me sooo mad. These little 13 year old kids who thought they were big and bad because they get dropped off to go to a movie would not shut up for anything. They talked and talked and talked through the hold movie.!!! Adam and I finally got fed up because we really couldn't hear what was going on and we left. It sucks because we missed the ending. And I really wanted to see it. And the movie doesn't come out for another month and I rarely get to see movies as it is. Ugh. Stupid kids. But it was nice to get some alone time together. We always have fun. Tomorrow..I'm getting paid 20 dollars to cut some one's hair. How cool is that.?! Also I'm doing a perm tomorrow. I don't know if I'll get paid for it or not but still if I do..I wanna buy some wedding stuff. I've started working out. I have been for the past week and a half..I know its not long, but I can feel my body getting strong. I do the '30 days till I do' work outs at comcast on demand and earlier this week, I could hardly keep up, but tonight I hardly broke a sweat and I worked out for 45 minutes. I feel like that's something to be proud of. And I've only had 1 soda this week. Go me.! I'm gonna feel so good about myself on my wedding day (and Kay's since I'm her maid of honor) if i keep this up. I have 3 weeks (that'll be a month since i started working out, and i should see some results right.?) until Kay and i go to pick out the bride's maid's dresses. I'm very excited. I know this will pay off if I keep at it. And I'm very goal oriented so I will. Adam is getting me a webcam before he leaves so we can still talk and stuff. I'm excited. I've never used a webcam..but it can't be hard. Wish me luck on my physical fitness.

I know I posted once already but...

I'm posting again. I just worked out for 40 minutes. I found a great thing on tv its a '30 days till I do' trainer. Who speacializes in wedding dress bodies..and considering I have 7 months until my sister-in law to be's wedding I figured I better get a move on. I wanna look good for her wedding too. I KNOW I can do it. I'm working so hard to better myself on so many different levels. With hydroxycut, a healthy diet, and exercise I know I can do this. I will fit into a beautiful dress and be proud of how I look. I KNOW that I have to do this and that no one is gonna do it for me. I'm gonna lose weight while Adam is gone and he's gonna come home to a new girl. I'm gonna do this for me. I'm motivated. I don't really eat alot of fast food..except subway..That was my lunch today. Instead of chips..I got apples and a non carbonated beverage. I've started drinking more water too. I add crystal light packets to give it flavor. It helps me stay on track..Also..I've been taking a vitamin to help my hair and nails..and its linked to weight loss. I try to eat as healthy as possible anyways..but sometimes..I'm not so good about it. But This is something I'm gonna stick to. And since its warming up I'll try to be outside with Cayle more so I wont be sitting on the couch or something like that. I'm re-creating myself. Watch me turn into a butterfly.

The motivation I need to keep going.

Due to privacy reason I had to edit this some, but I got student of the month.! I was so proud to see that. I wasn't expecting it. But I'm happy my hard work paid off. It gave me motivation to keep going..not only in hair school..but physical fitness. I'm starting to drink more water and eating subway instead of fast food. And I work out at night. And I'm gonna get my hydroxycut this weekend. :) I'm determined to do this for me. I was talking to one of my instructors tonight about how working in a salon and raising a baby would coincide. And she said that she had been a single parent for most of her children's life and she's worked at top of the line places like Hair Benders.! They're sooo demanding and so expensive. But now she works downtown. She said its all about finding a place that's willing to work with your time. And salons have a hard time finding people to work evenings. Evenings will more than likely be my schedule. Which makes it easy to find a job in the mall. At one of those salons. So we'll see what happens with that. Adam and I get a date night Friday night. Just the two of us. It's gonna be one of the last times we get to spend time together...considering he's leaving for Georgia for a month to set up a new Academy store. He'll be gone on my birthday..but I understand its a good opportunity for him. Hes getting paid good money for it. And I wasn't really planning anything for my birthday anyways..it still..it breaks my heart..to think I'll be without my other half for that long. It just hurts to even think of it..Crap..misty eyes.