I am more determined than ever.

First off..let me just say how HAPPY I am that it's fall. This is my favorite time of year. To celebrate daddy and I made an apple crisp :) It was delicious. I am really hoping to get the rest of Cayle's birthday stuff soon. I dont have much left at all. I also thought about another birthday present I could get him. He loves playing with his cars so why not get him the movie Cars.? He watched it on tv and he seemed to like it. I feel like Cayle and I are becoming more of our own family so to say. I feel like a big weight has been taken off my shoulders. Cayle sees it. I feel it. We do a lot more together and he just seems happier. And I think that's really all I needed to see. I will say that I enjoy having Cayle all to myself. I enjoy just us going out and doing things together. It's wonderful. School is very slow. But that's ok when I have someone to talk to at night. Otherwise I hate it. I'm having a yard sale this weekend. It's sad but I need the money and space. I really and truly do. Kay's wedding is next week and honestly..I am ready for it to be over. I'm happy for her..but not happy about facing him. I want to avoid him like the plauge and look happy && stunning. And I will. If I put my mind to it I will do it.

Home lately has been slightly stressful. I feel like I don't have much ME time with everyone being home for my brother's knee. I understand he's hurt and needs help..but I am perfectly capable of doing so. But I just hope things get back to normal soon.

I have been thinking a lot about moving to Knoxville..and I am still on the fence, but leaning towards it. I want to leave Chattanooga behind. I want to leave behind everything that weighs my heart down. I want to start fresh. But, I don't think it will be possible for another year or so. It would probably make it a lot easier to move when it's time for Cayle to start school. That way I would'nt have to worry so much about daycare while I work. In the mean time I will buy stuff for a home. And save money for a move. I want to have at least 3 months worth of rent just incase I ever get in a bind. I will get one of those fire proof boxes and keep my money in it for emergencies. And since I want a new car I have looked into a Kia forte koup. And to be honest. I LOVE it. Kia payments are supposedly cheaper than others. And if you make 350$ a week they will put you in one. And once I get out of school, I plan to try to work 2 jobs so I can pay it off and save money for this move and to provide for Cayle. I want to give him the best. And I KNOW I can do it. I am more determined than ever.

Feeling somewhat accomplished.

I had a pretty great day today. I got paid today a little more than expected and was able to fill up my car, get Kay a bachelorete party gift, get Sami a birthday gift, and buy some treat bag fillers..and still have some cash left over.! I'm starting to see the upside of not going to red bank every weekend. Hahah. I got Kay a gift card to Victoria Secret. I really thought it would be awkward buying a dirty gift if you know what I mean considering her family will be at this party...and that I'm kind of dreading. I know someone will mention something about the..recent events. Blah. I got Sami a Toys R Us gift card. I hope she likes it. I wasn't quite sure what all she has already or what she might want so she can go shopping..and every girl loves to shop :) I got bubbles and party horns for the treat bags. Now all I need as far as treat bags go are stickers sheets, goldfish crackers, dum dums, and gummy snacks. I think that will make for a good treat bag. Anyways..today is the first official day of Fall.!!! Bye Bye summer and helloooo hoodies and cool weather. :D I'm very excited. My favorite time of year is here. And with that being said..the leaves are changing and so am I.

Good day with a rocky start.

Today started with a bad txt message. My ex said "Watch your back 24/7". I saved the txt. But I am absolutely LIVID. How dare him to treat me like crap, break up with me, act like he didnt mean it, get mad when other guys show me attention, be absolutely in shock that I won't speak to him, and threaten me. You don't do that to me. I don't take kindly to it for one, and two I did absolutely NOTHING wrong. He's mad because I am making him lay in the bed he made. And that's all it is. That's it. I refuse to be treated like that. I refuse to let my child see me be treated like that and I refuse to make him start out in a broken home. I'd rather die than be with someone like that. I am standing my ground for once and it feels amazing. Today I went to Christina's for a few hours to visit. Cayle and Grace played. Brentley stayed with his mommy. And Christina and I chatted away. I really needed that. Every time I go to her house I want picture frames. Hahah. So I went and got one. I have a mission to make my downstairs feel a little more homey and what better way than picture frames.? I also got my next scrapbook for Cayle's age 2. And some treat bag fillers for his party. I got crazy straws. What kid doesn't like those.? It's September, and I almost have everything bought for his party.! I'm happy for that. I just don't know what to do about all this crap going on. I have so much going on.

Party Stuff and a quick update.

This week has been Hell on Earth. Tuesday night...my brother dislocated his knee. A 300 pound kid fell on him during football practice and he has to have surgery on Wednesday so please keep him in your thoughts. Secondly..my ex fiance hacked into all of my online accounts and read through all of my messages and it basically forced me to delete everything. I have no facebook. I had to make a new email address. I have this blog. I have no social networking accounts. That is not only an invasions of privacy but that right there shows me how much respect he had for me. I refuse to speak to him. I blocked all of his numbers..and he gets a new number to contact me. He has been calling and txting all day and I have responded to none of it. He's been giving messages to me through Kay. That is NOT fair to her. I'm giving her his stuff to give to him. I've had it with BS from him. I don't care about anything he has to say. He has hurt me too much for me to give him the time of day. I have to see him at Kay's wedding..but as far as that goes..he will be a fly on the wall to me. He makes me feel like one of those dogs who are mistreated who finally bite someone. Poor analogy..but I really couldn't think of a better one. On a lighter note..I did more birthday shopping today. I bought balloon weights, cake plates, plastic forks, and cups. Now all I need (excluding food) is napkins, balloons, 2 little einstein table covers, treat bag fillers, and his gift. Luckily most of that stuff is cheap. As far as treat bags go..I have decided on party horns, crazy straws, sticker sheets, bubbles, gummy snacks, and a few dum-dum pops for the bags. I know some parents will oppose to their child having candy, but I can't please everyone and I'm not going to try. I hate to be so blunt..but after this week I don't care. Opinions please.?

Busy day.!

This is the frame I put together last night that I thought I would share. Today at school I did three hair cuts.! Brittany and her family came in to support me.! I cut Sami's hair first. She did so good.! I was so impressed.! Brittany finally got her swoopy bangs she was wanting.! And Jessie got way shorter hair than what he came in with. Thank you guys so much for coming in. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.! I got about 90% of a week's worth of house work done today so Cayle and I can spend the week together. We need some bonding time. :)

Quality Time.

Today Cayle and I had a good day. We went to Walmart and I got some party supplies and I bought him a new tonka truck. He loves cars right now and I thought he would like that. I bought the treat bags today and his birthday boy ribbon. Last week I bought streamers and his birthday candle. Now all I need is plastic forks, napkins, cups, treat bag fillers, ballons, balloon weights, and one more little einstein table cover. It looks like I can meet my goal after all.! Today we went to the play ground. He LOVED that. He was so happy to be outside. It was rainy this week so we couldn't really go outside too much. So I thought I would make it up to him. We've had a good day. I don't think we're doing much tonight. But we'll have fun somehow. Maybe do a craft or something.








I've been thinking a lot lately..about planning my future..and since my future has taken a bit of a turn I've been coming up with a new plan..My new plan is to try to pay off a new car before I move. I want a red Kia Forte. They're stylish, gas efficient, and safe. I only like it in red though...and I've also been thinking about moving to Knoxville...There is a higher demand for hair stylists, its not far from home, and its not far from Gatlinburg either. I'm not sure about that one yet, but I do want to push forward and buy stuff for a house. I still think its a smart investment. Dad is even talking about fixing up the basement for me. He said he is in NOO hurry for me to leave..I wonder how they would feel about me moving to Knoxville.? I guess I'll worry about that when it gets here.. Opinons please.?

A Few Updates..

A few people know what's going on..and I want to say thank you for listening. As of right now...I am single..but I really don't know where it's going to go..and I hate uncertainty. But I know what needs to happen. I need to finish school and bond with Cayle. He is what's most important. I have most of his party stuff thank goodness. And hope to have it all bought and paid for by the end of the month so I can save for Christmas. I will send out invitations mid October. I am so ready for things to get better and go right. Cayle is becoming more verbal every day. He can say a few small sentences and he isn't shy about what he wants. He runs and plays and we've found more to do together :)