Why.??

Why is it so hard to like school.?? I don't understand. I LOVE LOVE LOVE doing hair, but I literally cannot stand school. I hate it. I don't have many people to talk to. I don't learn much of anything. I don't even get to do clients half the time. Its messed up.!! I'm just ready to be done so I can move on with my life. I've got better things to do than waste six hours of my life every night sitting around doing nothing. I keep on top of my school work. I make sure all my stuff is clean for if/when I actually get a client. I need some novels to take. It's so hard to find any that keep my interest due to the topics I enjoy reading about. "Raw" topics I guess are considered 'offensive' so no one writes about them as often as they do a sparkling vampire. Ha.! I hate twilight. I think another reason I dont like school is because half the girls there remind me of the 'mean girls' in that movie. Theyre blonde skinny spoiled and they think they're better than everyone. It makes me sick. Ughhh. I dunno. I just want things to be a little easier there so I dont hate it as much.

Heh..

So I just felt like posting to for no apparent reason..just to get everything off my mind I guess. School has been rough. Last Thursday was the worst. I had a client who wanted a roller set and her hair would not curl for ANYTHING. I felt horrible..like I'm not cut out for hair dressing. And a lot of the other girls make me feel like CRAP. They're so thin and snobby and yet they're gorgeous and I feel so plain standing next to them. Sad but true. I'm sick of doing hair and not making tips off of it. Granted..thats not what its about but at least when I make a dollar or something it lets me know I did a good job. And I dont even know how to make small talk or to start conversations with people. I get so concentrated doing their hair I completely forget to say anything. And to make things worse..I think someone stole from me at school..not money surprisingly..but finger nail polish. Pardon my French here but why the hell would you steal nail polish.???? Its two freaking dollars a bottle.!!! If you're that bad off I feel sorry for you to be honest. Ugh.! I'm not mad about what's missing. I'm mad about the fact it is missing. The one thing I cannot stand is a common theif. And half these girls at school are spoiled little rich girls and their daddies give them everything and anything they ask for. WTF.!!?!? I just really dread going..but even though I hate it..i stay every night and I do my class work. I know it's the only way I can get my life to fall into place. I want to be able to provide for not only myself but my family. I wanna be able to have my dream wedding and be able to fall asleep with Adam every night and wake up with him every morning. I wanna be able to buy my dream car (dodge charger). I wanna buy my own house. I wanna give Cayle amazing birthdays and Christmases every year. And I just feel stuck in hair school. Thats it..stuck. I dont even know what to say about it anymore. I don't get enough practice..and I just go to sit there. I need some motivation..or at least a reason to like it. I love doing hair but the school is crap. The end. Felt good to rant about that. I think I need more books to read..but I like to read about 'raw' topics i.e. drug abuse/addiction, LGBT books, eating disorders, mental disorders, suicide..etc. And not many books are out there like that. My favorite authors are Julie Anne Peters and Ellen Hopkins. And I can't find any books that honestly amount to theirs. Any suggestions.? You know what I've noticed.? It's easier to be friends with people who have kids or that have an extreme passion for them. I have to let go of several friends who don't get it. And one who makes me extremely mad. We were friends for six years and after I got pregnant I saw less and less of her. And every time I try to say 'lets put in the effort and be friends' I never hear from her. And I just got fed up with it and I havent heard from her in well over 6 months. Last time I saw her she wanted a free hair cut. Cayle was eight months old. He is now 14 about to be 15 months old. I don't txt her. And I deleted her off my Facebook. And she hasnt even noticed.I wanna lose weight..and I need a fun way to do it. Like a dance video game or something. I know it sounds lame..but I think the Michael Jackson wii game looks like fun. Too bad I cant afford it. Ha. Maybe for my birthday...too bad its in March. I took Cayle to the park today. This kid LOVES the slide.!! He had so much fun. Too bad it was crowded. Ah well.. vbdfjbvfkfk;l that is all.

Gatlinburg and Our one year anniversary.

My weekend in Gatlinburg was pretty relaxing. Thursday night, Adam stayed the night so we could head out early the next morning. Friday morning, Dad, Adam, Cayle, and I headed up to the mountains. One the way there, we stopped at crackerbarrel and had breakfast. Cayle wasn't used to having Adam around all the time (because we live so far apart we only see him on weekends.) but he was excited to have him there to play with. We stopped at the airport in Knoxville and picked up my older brother Zac and his wife Amy. This was their first time meeting Adam, and they seemed to really like him. When we finally made it to the cabin it was GORGEOUS. There were 6 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, a gameroom, a hot tub, spacious living room(s) and a kitchen. We unloaded everything and relaxed for a little while then headed to the grocery store to stock the fridge. We got tooo much food. But we were planning on a big dinner the next night filled with steak, scallops, and crab legs, baked potatoes too. By the time we got back, Mom and my brother Garrett and his friend Hunter had made their way to the cabin. So that night we all went out to dinner at No Way Jose's. Its a mexican place right next to the aquarium. After that, Adam, Cayle, and I walked around the shops. I got a hat. And Adam and I played games in the arcade. The next day we all went to breakfast at the applebarn and went shopping. That night Adam and I rode go carts in the FREEZING cold, and I got Cayle some clothes at carters. We had our big dinner that night and after Cayle went to bed Adam and I cuddled up in front of the fireplace and watched a movie. That was our nightly thing while we were up there. On our last day there we made a big breakfast and went shopping. Adam, Cayle, and I got our first ornament made. It was a glass blown ornament and we got our names on it. Then Adam, Garrett, and Hunter played laser tag. We all went to dinner that night at Fuddruckers (yes thats the name.) Then we packed up and went home. I had a lot of fun. And I'm so glad Adam got to come with me. It wouldn't have been that much fun without him. He wants to come back with us next year.! Last night was my one year anniversary. It was a good night. We went car hunting and Adam found a dodge neon 2003 that we both loved. He's going to go talk to someone about it on Monday. I hope all goes well. When we got back I cut his hair and we watched a scary movie. We had a chicken parmasian (sp.?) dinner and cuddled up. It was wonderful. And he really liked his present too. I'm so so happy. I can't wait to get this wedding buisness up and rolling. I've hardly has time to look at anything. But my mother in laws have gotten my boquete put together. Black and purple canna lillies.

Here's everything lately. :)

I know I dont post as often as before. I've been very busy lately it seems. Christmas was fun. Cayle got a wagon and his first adventure in the snow. He got tons of stuff actually, but his big present was the wagon. Adam and I spent new years eve together. And we kissed at midnight. Just like our very first kiss last year. The sparks are still there. :)) Our one year anniversery is in a few weeks. I've never had a relationship last this long on-going. I'm very happy. We bought our wedding guest book a few nights ago. It's really pretty. I'm going to attach some purple ribbon to it later on when wedding prep is in progress. I'm helping his sister with her wedding prep. I'm her maid of honor. I've never been a brides maid let alone a maid of honor. On a side note I've been out of school for about a month now due to the moving of the school. && thank GOD for that. I'm so buirnt out on school I can hardly stand the thought of it. On a side note.....Adam is going to gatlinburg with me and my family. It will be me, cayle, dad, mom, my brothers, my younger brothers friend (possibly), and my older brothers wife (who's also a hairstylist.) I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. I've never had a boyfriend come on vacation with me. And I'm excited that Cayle, Adam, and I will all be together. Gatlinburg is fun. And since Adam is coming, we can do more as a family. Like the ripley's aquarium and the applebarn. :) This is also the first time my brother and his wife get to meet him. So hopefully everything goes according to plan. I can't wait. I'm going to take tons of pictures.

Geeze. Perfect timing.

So over the past couple of months I've been having episodes with my stomach. I have such bad pains I cant even move sometimes when I get them. Well, the other day I woke up doubled over in pain crying (and I NEVER cry) because my stomach was hurting so bad.It lasted for over two hours. I went to the doctor and I found out I have a bacteria in my stomach acid called Helicobactor pylori bacteria. Basically saying that if I don't get better I'm going to get a stomach ulcer. I'm on 3 different medications for them and on a very strict diet. I can't have fried foods, spicy foods, acidic foods or beverages [ orange juice, apple juice, etc..], caffeine, carbonated drinks, or chocolate. Right around Christmas.?! Are you kidding me.?! That's like the ultimate bag over the head punch in the face. It sucks, but hey, I'm sure an ulcer is about twenty times worse. On the plus side, Adam took me to buy my Christmas presents.! I got a bunch of new clothes and for the first time in a long time, I feel pretty. :) We even went to applebees. That was fun too. Our waiter was really cool. It's 12:11 christmas eve.!!! Ahhh.!! It's finally here.!! Today and tomorrow are gonna be good days. I'm determined to make them good days. With no stress. [stress keeps this bacteria active.] I can't wait to give Cayle his presents. I wanna see his face light up.! I hope he likes them all. I did what I could for him this year. But I promise, there's a lot of love behind it all. I dont have much money, but I'll gladly give up a night out to get him something for Christmas, but hopefully this is the last Christmas where money will be a struggle. My new year's resolutions are to get down to a size 9 and to finish school by october. To also try to move out, and buy a new car by 2012. I want a black mazda. Yay.! I'm determined to make something of myself. And of course, I wanna keep being a good mom. :) I really hope everyone likes what I got them for Christmas. Let the festivities begin.! Merry Christmas.!

A little bit of everything. :)

Last night was so much fun. Adam, Cayle and I met up with Christina, Chris, and Grace for our first annual Christmas dinner. We went to applebees. We both bought thr babies presents..and ended up buying them the same thing and wrapping it with the SAME wrapping paper haha. We sat and talking for a while and enjoyed dinner. The babies were sharing their snacks with each other. It was so cute to watch. At the end up dinner we gave the babies their gifts. They got animals for their little people noah's arks. Cayle hasnt stopped playing with the animals. However, he is missing a zebra. After dinner, we went to walmart to get some christmas stuff. Adam's idea. We got Cayle a stocking for his house, cookie mix, icing, and gliiter glue pens. We decorated Cayle's stocking with the glittle glue pens and wrtoe his name. Then we made cookies. We made peanut butter ones, chocolate chip, and sugar cookies. Then we decorated them with red and green icing. Too bad we ran out of time to decorate the tree. We're going over there tomorrow so maybe we can then. Adam's family was even talking about getting Cayle an ornament for their tree. It made me really happy to know they consider cayle family already. As far as the wedding planning is going We found our reception area and have decided on our cake topper and cake idea and our date is October 1st, 2012. We've also picked our wedding bands. :) We're both excited to spend this Christmas together as a family. This is our first Christmas actually together. December 13, 2009 was the day we met. It's been a year. And in all honesty..2010 has been the best year of my life. Not only have I gotten to see my beautiful baby boy grow..I've had a wonderful man to witness it and share it with. I'm so thankful for them both. I don't think I could live without them...no..I know I couldnt. I would die. We'll see what this christmas holds. I can't wait to see Cayle's face light up. That will be the best thing about Christmas for me.

Hmm..

Well, I found my dream wedding dress, and I'm going back for it in january. Adam and I have decided to get married in 2012 instead of next year. Financially it will be better for us. I can agree with it. Also, we are planning on paying for the wedding ourselves. Just when I thought things were going to get better with my mom..she proves me wrong. She really hurt me while wedding dress shopping with my soon to be in laws. The dress I want is white. And its no secret that I'm not a virgin. she asked the lady taking care of me "Does this dress come in ivory.? We already have a baby so there's no sense in getting a white one." Right in front of everyone..I went right back into my changing room and wanted to cry. She doesn't watch what she says and I think that hurts the most. So therefor, I'm not gonna keep setting myself up for disappointment from her and just not expect anything from her. On another note..I'm SICK of school. I love doing hair, but I HATE the schooling. Its boring and all I do is sit there day in and day out. I hate it. I wish I could just quit and do somethign else. But there's been a lot of money put into this. I guess I'll just have to deal. But seriously. I dread even going. I have a lot of my christmas shopping done. About 95% of it actually. I dunno...I'm just ready for a break. From everything.!!! I got Adam moved back to his grandmothers house and he seems pretty happy there. SO hopefully things will work out for us. We'll see I guess.