Learning to be more optimistic.

I'm trying to be more optimistic. Trying to see more good in a bad situation. If I don't pick up this habit quick..I'm literally going to worry myself into a heart attack. Friday my car broke down all the way in Soddy daisy. Lucky enough for me..Adam knows a thing or two about cars. We made it to a gas station and a tower came and towed it to his shop where hopefully it'll be fixed in a week or two. Until then..I'm driving my mom's car. It's alot nicer than my car. Only downside is that it uses alot of gas. Friday night I came home crying from it. I kept saying "Why cant I just have one thing go right.?" I mean seriously..I can't find work anywhere. No matter HOW HARD I try. And I want to so I can do more for Cayle. To have that extra spending money. To have that emergency money. So on and so on. It's seriously getting to the point of where I truly feel worthless some days. But then that brings back the point of trying to see the good in a bad situation. The good being that I have all my time to spend with the truest joy I have..and that's Cayle. Adam works 5 days a week. He goes in at 4 a.m. and doesn't usually get off until 1:30 p.m. He comes home and either sleeps or relaxes by playing his xbox or talking to me..or both. But needless to say..I don't get to see him more than 3 or 4 times a week. And if I worked..there's absolutely no telling when I'd see him. So as my form of work..I keep house for my mother.She pays me and I use that money to get me through the week. She also picks up whatever Cayle needs. But still..money is tight. Saturday..my mom and dad took me out to cheer me up. We went to Walmart..and I got to pick out some clothes for Cayle that I wanted him to have. He's growing up sooo fast..all the things he got at his shower no longer fit him anymore. Dad got me the last Disney movie I needed..Hercules. And I got Disney silly bands. Cayle also got these teething passies. They seem to work pretty well. After Walmart..we went to the new Academy sports. Cayle got a float and I got some tops. After that we went to my favorite restaurant..Ichiban.!!. I felt alot better..but my day wasn't over. Mom insisted on keeping Cayle and letting me go out on a date with Adam. Adam took me to Logan's to eat. Then we played mini golf. He won by four strokes. We had fun. And decided to skip the haunted carnival in october..and go to ruby falls. I've never been but I'm excited. Today I woke up and went to church with Adam. I love his family. They're so welcoming and always happy to see me..and it's really nice to feel like I belong in a family besides the one I have. They're going to be my in-laws someday so I might as well love them. ;) After church Adam and I went to pizza hut. Cayle decided he wanted a breadstick and tried to grab Adam's breadstick..and the dipping sauce it came with..trust me..he didn't get very far with that stunt. By the way..I think they should make it a law to where all public places have changing tables. Its difficultwithout one. Last week Mom ordered Aladdin off of Amazon for me so I would have all the Disney movies on DVD. I hope it comes soon. I dont wanna sit around the house bored out of my mind ALL week. Wish me luck on this whole optimism thing..I'm pretty sure I'll need it.