Thinking above and beyond this tiny town.

Has your heart or mind ever told you that you're meant to be somewhere or doing something else.? Both my mind and heart do. I feel like I'm meant for so much more than this town. I've wrestled with the concept for years of moving to a new place and starting a new life. And for once in my life..I'm really and truly considering it. I feel like it's what I need. I feel so trapped in Chattanooga. I'm not happy here. And my heart is always always ALWAYS telling me I need to be up North..or Northwest. In a place like Boston..or Seattle. Very urban. Somewhere where hair business is great and I could make a decent living. But then, there's another part of me that would even consider moving out of the country. Overseas. To Ireland. Or even London. That's probably the dreamer in me. I just can't shake the feeling that I have, that Chattanooga isn't for me. It's not where I'm supposed to be. It's not where I feel like I will find happiness. I need to see Boston. I need to see Seattle. I need to see overseas. I need to know why I feel like I need to be there. This isn't just an urge to go on a vacation. Something is telling me I need to be there to see these places. To maybe even move my life there. Of course, it'll be years from now before I can even consider moving that far, but I need to at least have some peace of mind. But for now, I want to see how living on my own will do. Maybe that's the freedom I'm craving. Something about moving so far is like a taste of freedom. Like a great escape. Chattanooga suffocates me.

I think part of my bringing all this up is this weird.. transition I'm going through. With graduating from college and stepping into a career..I feel slightly..overwhelmed I suppose. It's a weird mood. Almost like I can't believe it's here. And feeling so vulnerable because for the past 2 years I've always known what to expect..and stepping into this new phase of life not knowing. It's scary. I've got a lot going through my head. Mostly questions of the unknown. Will I make friends.? Will I make ends meet.? Will I be able to move out when I want to.? Will I even be any good at this job.? What if I end up lonelier than I was before the job.? Who will I meet.? Where is this going to take me.? So many questions running through my head. I don't know what to think..or even where to begin. I know that I've come too far to start doubting my abilities and what I am capable of. But it's still a scary transition going from school to work..not just work..but a career. This is a big deal.

Also, this isn't as serious as everything else, but I'd really like to see my boutique business (for lack of a better term) really soar. When I made those bows last night..I really enjoyed myself. I put a lot of work into them to make them neat. To make them something I thought everyone would like. It would be nice if it would pick up. Things take time. I'm well aware of that, but I'm going to try my best to promote, and put 100% effort into everything I make. Let's just see where it takes me.

This is me rambling today. ;)