Why is it that..(venting blog. you've been warned)

..School always gets put on the back burner for me.? Seriously. I've had it. School is always seen as optional for me because I don't have a set time to be there. Well..mom is sick and can't keep Cayle and throws a damn fit about me trying to make arrangements for him. I can't take it. Here I am 2 freaking weeks away from graduating and I am missing out on SIX HOURS tonight. So that has the potential to put me a day behind on graduating. Joy. Just when I gave my boss my exact date of graduation. What a great way to start work.!! Lying to your boss.!!! :D I'm going to have to find some way to make it up or I'm sunk. This isn't the first time my school has been put on the back burner for some garbage like this. What about all the trips my parents have gone on and I've been without.?? Dinners for my dad's work.? Oh and don't forget football practice and after school activities. I know I'm not the most important person...but I'm sick of what I NEED being only an option.

I can't ask my grandmother to keep him she has enough to deal with. Because my freaking irresponsible piece of crap sister is about to get evicted from her house because her and her lazy deadbeat husband are sorry lazy people who don't get it that you need a JOB to pay your bills and you can't mooch off of an 85 year old woman. They're over 3,000 dollars behind on their rent. Well..it's not like they don't have everything else handed to them on a silver platter. My grandmother spends every dime on their utilities. They take her only car. So she can't go anywhere. She puts gas in it. So they don't have to buy gas. But they run it all out as soon as they get it. So my grandmother doesn't have anything. She sits at home and eats crackers for dinner at night because she doesn't have any money for food or anything else in that case. They suck her financially dry. And I want nothing to with my sister or her lousy husband. Yesterday..this ticked me off more than anything. My grandmother comes over and asked if I can go pick up my nephew from his friends house because my sister nor her husband did and his friends parents had plans that they had to cancel because his parents didn't come get him. And his "dad" was out in that general area and could have gone right by on his way home to get him and he didn't. So I had to use MY gas in MY car to go get him and bring him home. When I have just enough to get by every week. I really hope they don't think they can mooch off of me when I start bringing in a paycheck. Because guess what.?? It's not happening. I'm happy to let my grandmother have money if she needs it. But not my sister..because my sister does nothing to help herself. I'll just lie and say that I haven't gotten my check yet. She will not get a dime from me. Especially since she has a job she doesn't even go to. And lies to everyone about having a check. Her husband won't take a drug test to work..wonder why.? Yeah right.

I'm so frustrated right now because it feels like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and nobody cares to look up. I just hope I can even it all out. I'm gonna just take a breath and try to look for the positives in all this mess. I really need to learn my anxiety... eh.