Ever since I started beauty school, I've noticed my self esteem needs a lot of work. I've noticed the need to match outter beauty with inner beauty. I've noticed more than anything, I don't have a lot of confidence.. I feel like that all needs to change. And that happy girls are the prettiest girls, but if I'm not happy with my appearance, how can I be happy inside and out.? I cant. There's just no way around it. I feel chubby, plain, boring, and like I don't do enough to enhance natural beauty. People can tell me all the time that I'm pretty or that I'm a nice person, but I need to feel it. I guess I wanna be a little more girly. Something that goes beyond jeans and a tee shirt and a pair of sneakers. I wanna feel good about myself. I wanna feel pretty. I know that if I don't start feeling better about myself soon, people will pick up on my negative self image and it'll drag them down and I don't want that..I don't want Cayle to feel that..or Adam..or anyone I'm close to. I wanna take a little time for myself each day to just do something to make myself feel better about being me..whether it be going for a jog or fixing my hair. I need to do something..I'm at breaking point when it comes to body image. Even girls at school told me I don't do enough for myself. I do everything for everyone else and whatevers left over is for me, but in my mind..that's the way its supposed to be. Cayle first. Mama last. That's part of being a great mom. But I still wanna be a great mom but feel good about myself. I wanna wear jewelry. I wanna wear cute tops. I wanna do all those things that a girl is supposed to do to make herself feel good. Is there anything wrong with that.?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Confidence Is Key..
Ever since I started beauty school, I've noticed my self esteem needs a lot of work. I've noticed the need to match outter beauty with inner beauty. I've noticed more than anything, I don't have a lot of confidence.. I feel like that all needs to change. And that happy girls are the prettiest girls, but if I'm not happy with my appearance, how can I be happy inside and out.? I cant. There's just no way around it. I feel chubby, plain, boring, and like I don't do enough to enhance natural beauty. People can tell me all the time that I'm pretty or that I'm a nice person, but I need to feel it. I guess I wanna be a little more girly. Something that goes beyond jeans and a tee shirt and a pair of sneakers. I wanna feel good about myself. I wanna feel pretty. I know that if I don't start feeling better about myself soon, people will pick up on my negative self image and it'll drag them down and I don't want that..I don't want Cayle to feel that..or Adam..or anyone I'm close to. I wanna take a little time for myself each day to just do something to make myself feel better about being me..whether it be going for a jog or fixing my hair. I need to do something..I'm at breaking point when it comes to body image. Even girls at school told me I don't do enough for myself. I do everything for everyone else and whatevers left over is for me, but in my mind..that's the way its supposed to be. Cayle first. Mama last. That's part of being a great mom. But I still wanna be a great mom but feel good about myself. I wanna wear jewelry. I wanna wear cute tops. I wanna do all those things that a girl is supposed to do to make herself feel good. Is there anything wrong with that.?
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I know this sounds weird, but have you ever watched the show What Not To Wear? I started watching it and I have gotten some great pointers about how to dress my body type to make myself look thinner, and also what kind of colors are the most flattering to my skin tone, and what type of colors to stay away from. They also teach you how to dress like a professional powerful woman while still fitting your style. They do a different woman everytime, but eventually you will find episodes of women who resemble your body type and your style, and no matter what the woman looks like they always tell her how beautiful she is. I highly recommend that show! Everytime I buy a new item of clothing I try to follow the guidelines that I have learned on there and I actually do feel a more confident about the way I dress now. It comes on TLC just aobut everyday at different times.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I since I have started college i have started wearing make up everyday. It makes me feel like I at least look put together, and I at least blow dry my hair. I would like to straighten it, but I just don't have time.
And, I know it is supposed to be baby first, mommy second, but you have to remember that if mommy isn't happy then baby is going to feel that. Trying to pull your appearance together will not hurt him, and if it makes you feel better abotu yourself then it will probably help him.
Note: I am in no way saying that you need to change. I have always thought that you were beautiful inside and out, but I just wanted to give you some pointers of things I have found that help me.
Nope. Nothing wrong with that. I have been there. I always bough Sami new clothes, even when she didn't need them and I never bought them for myself. Finally, one day, I'd had enough. Sami still has more than enough clothes, but I finally have some too. I always but from yardsales, but I only buy very nice clothes. Right now I am trying to convince myself to actually get a hair cut, but every time I want to, I always say, "No, because it is just going to grow back out in a few months and cost 12 MORE dollars." lol. I have some work on that. And I don't like make up, but I Love perfume. Sometimes, if I do wear make up though, I make it Mommy and Sami time. lol. We will both wear it and she Loves it. It isn't actually dark enough to see it, but she feels like a grown up and I always let her know that she doesn't need it to be beautiful. Apparently, you can't put make up on a boy, lol, but you know what I am getting at.
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