Shaken.

I thought I'd never see them again..Never expected it to hurt me as bad as it did..I saw my's ex's mother and step father..while I was out with Cayle..I didn't even know that was her until I felt arms going around me trying to hug me and I jumped back..and once I saw who it was I wanted to run..In that instant I felt all the pain I was put through come rushing back. The pain of his addictions to heroin, marjuana, alcohol..he never told me he loved me when he was sober..All the names rang through my head he called me..b*tch, c*nt, slut, whore. All the guilt trips he put me on when I was innocent, "If you really loved me you'd let me" "You've changed. You're not the girl I once knew, after this baby comes we need to rethink us." All the things he cheated me out of, money, promises, support,. "What we have is empty and I'm growing to hate you." " I don't care what you do just leave me alone." "You're here for sex then your leaving." "I just need a break from you to date this girl..I love you but I think this could be something." "I never cheated on you. I was just testing you and your trust for me.." Even after delivering the baby I woke every two hours alone careful not to wake him..I had no help...I did my whole pregnancy alone..After getting the point that I didn't want to talk to them, I left the store and cried...I was so scared he was in the store that I calmed down as quickly as possible and drove to the other side of town thirty minutes away..I tried to talk to someone about it..but its hard..all this posted here was one a small portion of the things he did...But I try to keep in mind I gained more than I lost..he lost more than he gained. He lost both of us. He'll never be in our life. I gained Adam. The love of my life. And my child's daddy. Not father, but daddy. All I have to say to my ex is lay in the bed you made because i'm fine without you and so is Cayle. Thanks for nothing.

49 Mistakes



Woke up this morning , got a glimpse of your face. Your eyes gave a warning, that I might be out of place. Been trippin' on down this lonely road, it's getting old and that fire in your eyes babe , has gone and turned me cold.

So get goin' , get gone I can't look at your face. I've seen this all before, and 49 more mistakes. I've been tryin' but I ain't dyin' , on the inside for you , So get goin' .. get goin' get gone.

It ain't no big surprise, that your rain keeps pouring down If only for my demise , you've been hangin' hangin' around. Lord knows these tears have cried a river or two, But you find a way , can't tell night from day , leave me drowning over you . Your just an overload , nothin' but an overload