When I have an awful day and nobody is in a good mood or wants to talk..there's always someone who does. And that's my amazing baby boy. He's always happy to see me when it feels like no one else is. He always wants to spend time with me..even if it's just rolling around on my bed while i watch him. He always looks at me with a look that says "did i do good mommy.?" "did you see me.?" and I love that. It's little moments like that that make me happy. Moments like the three of us, Adam and Cayle and I, curl up and watch a movie..most of the time it's Cayle's pick..which is ALWAYS Horton hears a who. And he falls asleep in either mine or Adam's arms. I finally know what it means to live for little moments. I found the greatest joy in my life. Being a mom is wonderful. I love taking care of Cayle. I love everything from play time to diaper changes to nap time. I love when all he wants is for me to hold him. It makes me feel needed..I never really got that before. He makes me feel like I have a purpose. That I need to be here..that I have a reason for getting up in the morning. I love feeling that I have love. I love that Adam wants to be a daddy to Cayle. I always forget that it isn't biological. Today I went to church with Adam. We brought Cayle and we went to his grandmother's house for lunch. His family gave cayle a stuffed bunny rabbit and candy [[well..that's more for mommy. lol]] and had an Easter egg hunt just for him. They love Cayle just like a member of their own family. Everyone just talks to him and holds him and plays with them. They love us and accept us. And it's not every day you find a family that is okay with you having a baby by someone else at a young age. I feel like Cayle and I have found some great people we want to have around for a long time. His family is already calling me an 'in-law'. It's crazy but it feels right. In a way it feels like Cayle has found his true dad. Sometimes I look at Adam's baby pictures and I see some resemblance. It just trips me out. His mom says that Cayle acts alot like Adam did when he was a baby. I love how I feel like Adam, Cayle, and I are a family. And we are. I feel a sense of completion when the three of us are together. Cayle is best friend. I'll never let him go a day without knowing he's loved.
