Monday, February 27, 2012

What a fantastic weekend.!!!!

So this weekend was a lot of fun. Friday night Troy and I had somewhat of a date night. It was his grandmother's birthday and the family got together for dinner at Provino's. I'd never been and most of the family I had never met so it was nice to finally see everyone. They're a nice group of people. I think his sister and I will get along famously though. We're a lot alike. After dinner we went back to his grandfather's house. His uncle wanted to show me home videos of baby Troy. Poor guy, his face turned so red. But there wasn't anything too embarrassing. He was a cute baby too ;).

Saturday, Cayle and I got lunch together. And I took him to Walmart for a prize. He wanted some Hot Wheels cars. So I got him a few. And these Crayola bath drops. They make the water change colors.! They don't stain skin or the tub.! And it helps Cayle learn his colors. Cayle can also recognize both upper and lower case letters.! I'm thrilled.! After dinner, Daddy and I watched Pirates of The Caribbean 4. It was fun.

Sunday was awesome.!!! Cayle and I went to Kay's house for the day. We played Just Dance 3 on the Wii. Cayle danced with us. We made brownies and tacos for dinner. Oh, and fresh strawberries. :) After dinner we played the game some more. Cayle had so much fun trying to dance with us. Kay and I got to have our girl talk. And we're closer than ever. We want to try to make this an every weekend thing if we can. Cayle has gotten into a stage where he doesn't want to nap during the day and wants to go to sleep around 930 or 10 each night, but Sunday night he was partying hard.! After we left Kay's house, we stopped by Troy's house for a few minutes. Cayle got to meet Troy's mom. And my goodness she was crazy about him.! Troy seems to be too. They played together a majority of the time we were there. Troy is good with kids. I'm just trying to be cautious this time around as far as bringing Cayle around new people. It's not that I don't trust Troy, I just want to know in my heart that this is the right thing. And so far, my heart feels very safe. Troy is very different from other guys I've dated. I cherish the little things so much more. Phone calls, holding my hand, kissing me in front of his friends, everything. He never ceases to amaze me. And I can tell that Cayle likes him. He hugs him and isn't afraid to crawl up in his lap and sit.

I leave for NOLA in TWO days.!!! I can't wait. I'm very happy but somewhat sad because I'll miss my lovely people here. But Troy has reassured me that he'll be waiting with open arms when I get back. NOLA is a great opportunity and I want to just soak it up.! It's a vacation...that's what you're supposed to do..right.?

Today I found out the band Seether is coming to Chattanooga in May.!! That's Troy's favorite band. We're planning on going. I can't wait.

I just realized too...that my birthday is less than a month away. WOW. I'm so excited to not be a teen anymore. I welcome my 20's. :)

My NOLA post will be picture heavy. Just wait and see.!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Rant.

I don't really know any better way to express my feelings than to blog. So it's completely understandable if nobody wants to read this.

In order for me to make money to get through each week, I clean house for my mother. And for the most part I've always done everything on the set list I have. However, mom's hours have been cut in half so instead of being paid 75-100 dollars a week, I am paid anywhere between 20 and 60. Which I understand completely. I don't have an issue with that because usually I can make it work. The issue I have is that my work isn't appreciated and never good enough for anyone. I do a little each day to give me time with Cayle. The chores I have aren't hard. I vacuum twice a week, mop once, dust, maintain the kitchen and bathroom, do the towels,and keep the toys picked up. Simple stuff. No complaints. When I get the house clean I leave for school for 5 hours each night. I come home and its trashed. There are dishes in the sink when the dish washer is empty, toys all over the house, dirty towels in the bathroom, and food left in the pans. Are you kidding me.? It's almost as if they want to make sure I have something to do during the day. And it irritates me. And today I go to look at my list of duties to see what I could do today..and it's gone. I call mom and ask where it is..and she says she threw it away because it 'wasn't working'. She complains that the dishwasher runs while I'm at school sometimes. Sometimes the dishwasher isn't ready to run until I'm ready for school..and I'm not going to sit and wait for it to finish while I could be at school. I'm not that thing's sitter. About 95% of the time there isn't back up with the dishes. So it frustrates me that everyone treats it like its an every day thing. And if I try to explain that..nobody will even care. I swear I live with 4 slobs sometimes. And it makes me even more anxious to move. I just don't want to have to pick up after everyone every day. I want MY job. MY money. MY house. That's it. I'm over getting talked to like I'm 12. I'm 20 years old. I'm raising my own child. I'm an adult. I can do what I want. I hate feeling like I'm fighting an uphill battle with cleaning the house. It's going to drive my insane. I'm so thankful I'll be in NOLA in a week. I need the break to bond with Cayle.

Another thing really bothering me is school. I've noticed lately that the girls on the clinic floor (where I am) are very clique-y. They aren't social. And hardly any of them say a word to me. It's like I stink or something. Which I'm positive I don't. I shower regularly. And I go and sit by myself for 5 hours. Talk to no one. Do no clients. Yes, I have one every week..but other than that I do NOTHING. And it's making it hard to want to stay to finish school..and I'm so close. I CRY sometimes because I don't want to be there. And it completely destroys my mood. Here lately..I've been going to the basics room (for the girls who just started and learn the basics before moving to the clinic floor) and they're more friendly than anyone on the clinic floor. We paint our nails, do our hair, wax our eyebrows, sit and joke. And that makes things more bearable. There's one girl, Katie, and she is just like me. She has a 4 year old. And she has had to live under someone else's roof for a while to try to raise her. She had to budget the same money I do. She bought house stuff prior to moving. We have the same taste in a lot of things. And she's 2 years older than me. It's crazy how similar we are. We even look alike. I'm just ready to be done. The sooner I'm done the sooner ALL this stress goes away.

I've been thinking about the new car thing..and I don't think I want one from a dealer..I'd rather have one I could just pay off all at once. Maybe I can find a nice car if I look hard enough. That'll cut out another few years of living at home hopefully.

I've decided once I get everything situated I'm buying house stuff and not being shy about it. If my parents ask they'll get the answer 'because I plan to move soon'. I'm ready to get away from living with 4 slobs I have to pick up after.

Now, don't' get me wrong..I love my family very much and they've done a lot for me. And I will always be thankful for that, but I just think it would be better if I was elsewhere. Heck..nobody has much to say to me anyway unless they want me to do something or want to know if I'm going to school. But for my birthday..I want a tattoo..how much do you wanna bet they'll try to stop me.? They think they still can control my every move. I'm an ADULT. I can do what I want. And the sooner I show some assertiveness the better.

On the plus side..I see Troy Friday and probably Saturday. I feel sometimes like he's one of the only people who understand me (besides the few friends I do have). He always has a way to make everything better. He doesn't have to do anything. He just lets me talk and holds me until I feel better. I'm also going to try to do some fun stuff with Cayle this weekend to get us ready for our trip. Today we went outside to play. He had fun.

My current goals. I want my legs to be semi-attractive in shorts/dresses/whatever this summer so I plan on working out at least 3 times a week. And of course to buy my house stuff. One room at a time. I plan on getting the storage tubs and filling them. Storing them is another story. I live in my basement. Which also doubles as a storage room. So I have NO personal space. I have to fight through everyone elses CRAP to put my things anywhere. I can't wait just to have a room again. Not live out of a storage room. I just feel like I have so much working AGAINST me its ridiculous. I just want to break down and cry somedays..and I hate to cry. It makes me feel even worse than I did starting out. I need some advice.


On a side note...on the way home from Troy's show...we kinda toyed with the idea of moving in together next year if things are still good. I don't know if it was the 'high on life' talking or what..but it thrilled me. It may be soon..but I just feel like you can tell a lot about what the future will be like with someone the more one on one time you spend with them. Troy and I spend some one on one time together..and its always so good. We're a lot alike. So if things do work out the way I'd like them to..maybe moving out won't be as hard.

But I've had a crappy week..need a pick me up..or advice..whichever comes first.

:/

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Randomness.!!

Today was tense. My brother had his surgery yesterday. It went well..but I'm guessing not everyone is used to being at the house all at the same time so it was kinda stressful. I was somewhat happy to be getting out of the house to go to school..even though I really wasn't excited about sitting around for 5 hours. I went to the craft store first hoping to find some things for my scrapbook for a page for New Orleans..and what do you know.?? I found some New Orleans stickers to put in there.! That made me happy. So I got that and some glittery purple card stock and went on to school. My friend is taking her maternity leave soon. I'm kind of upset about it because she's the only person I really talk to at night. But it'll be good for her so I'm happy for that..because I know right now her heart isn't in hair school. But I went to talk to the other girls in the basics class. They're really fun. We sat and painted our nails and just made jokes for the night. I curled their hair too. I got a txt around 8 from Troy. It said "I just got off work. Are you still at school.?" And I said yes. He told me to stay put. And 15 minutes later he came to see me.!! I was so happy. It was a nice surprise. I went to hug him and he had something behind his back. He pulled out a teddy bear for me. It was sweet. I wasn't expecting that, but the fact he thought about me and came to see me at school definitely made me feel so much better about the day. I feel so blessed to have someone who cares so much about me. I'll miss him when Cayle and I go to NOLA. But this trip is something I've wanted to do for quite some time and I don't want to miss the opportunity. 14 days and I'll be there.!

This weekend Christina, Brittany, and I are getting the babies together for a play date. I can't wait. I haven't done a play date in quite some time. Cayle needs to be around kids more. He just has me to be honest. We do a lot together..but I think it would be good to have him around other kids too. Friday night, Troy and I plan to go see Ghost Rider II. That's what he wanted to do for his birthday. It comes out Friday. Saturday I want to devote to Cayle. I'm thinking (if it's pretty) a trip to the zoo. If we can be out of the house..we will. It's crowded right now. Saturday night, Troy's band plays. And this is the first show I can get into since we started dating. The past shows have all been for ages 21 and up. I wish I was turning 21 this year. I hate living in a town where 90% of the entertainment requires you to be 21 or older. I don't want to be 21 for the sake of consuming alcohol. I want to be 21 so I can get in anywhere without there being an issue. You know.? But either way..I'm very excited to see him play. I know it means a lot to him. And I want to support him. Sunday I would also like to devote to Cayle. If we can be out of the house on the weekend..we will.

Speaking of being crowded...I'm so ready to move out. When I can get expenses paid for (birthdays..holidays..etc.) I can buy house stuff. It's just been hard because my money has been tight. Mom hours are halved so my pay is a little tight. But that's okay. Because I'm still thankful to have what I have. I mean that. But soon things will be back to normal and I can buy/save a little more freely.

I've been working on my cooking some. I made homemade potato soup and corn muffins the other day. It turned out pretty tasty. The soup was a little thin but this is trial and error. I'll know what to do different next time. Tonight I think I'll look online and find recipes to put in my book. I have this three ring binder with slip covers for printed recipes. Any that I would probably make and/or try I'll print off. And if anyone knows any good recipes please send them my way. :)

Also, I thought this was really pretty and wanted to share.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Hearts Day.!

Valentine's Day was actually really nice this year. Cayle got up. We opened our cards and spent the day together. We colored Valentine pictures courtesy of familyfun.go.com. We ate snacks and watched movies. We really need to find more to do. Same old same old just doesn't do it anymore. Maybe when it warms up we can go to the zoo and Coolidge park and I can take him to ride the carousel. I'd like to take him somewhere special this weekend..the only question is...where.?

Today was Troy's birthday. Poor guy. His allergies were acting up so he wasn't feeling 100%, but we still managed to enjoy each other for Valentine's day. We had pizza and birthday cake. And spent quality time together for Valentine's day cuddled up on the couch. It's so nice to have something so easy and so...true. You know.? Everything I've had before..was always based on lies and secrets..and its like a breath of fresh air knowing that that's not the case this time. Troy is as real as they come. And I can really tell. He met mom over the weekend. She seems to like him so that's a good sign. Now he has to meet one of the most important men in my life..Daddy. Cayle got to spend some time with him too. He really warmed up to him. He sat in his lap and played with his phone and wouldn't let me pick him up. Troy didn't seem to mind so I'm happy. :) I'm trying to ease into the 3 of us spending time together. I want them both to be comfortable. And so far so good.

My trip to New Orleans is in two and a half weeks.!! It'll be Daddy, Cayle, and me.! I am super excited. I'll be on a picture taking frenzy.! From what I've heard, New Orleans (I call is NOLA for future reference) is somewhat of a culture shock. But as long as I don't have to eat craw fish or alligator I think I can handle it. Daddy and I have NEVER taken a trip without the rest of the family so this should be pretty nice. I think Cayle will enjoy it too. In my Valentine's Day card from Daddy he mentioned how excited he was for our trip. By the way..the card is leopard print. How perfect is that.?




Sunday, February 12, 2012

Finding things to do in this town..

Cayle and I need to find things to do together in this town. I'm thinking one weekend a month we go above and beyond our regular Friday nights and do something in accordance to every month. But for some months I can't think of anything. Help.?

January -
February -
March -
April - Lake Winnie.
May - Zoo.
June -
July - Firework show
August -
September - Creative Discovery Museum
October - Rock City Corn Maze & Guthrie's Pumpkin Farm.
November - His choice for his birthday month
December - Rock City Garden of Lights.

On a side note, Cayle is doing very well. He's turning into such a sweet, smart, loving little boy. He's very attached to me and we spend quite a bit of time together.

I've decided to collect more recipes for my homemade cook book. I just don't know where to look. Suggestions.?

Are you the mother of a little artist too.? Cayle loves to color so I got him some Crayola bath crayons. They write on the bathtub wall and they wash off no problem. We LOVE them. You can get a pack of 8 (I think.?) for four dollars at Walmart. They're worth every penny. :)

Valentine's Day is Tueday..which is also Troy's birthday. I'm so excited. I kinda have to go above and beyond for his birthday/Valentine's day. So for Valentine's day I got him a picture frame with our picture in it, a reece's chocolate heart, and a blanket which I've sprayed with my perfume. He's been asking for something that smells like me. For his birthday I got cupcakes, a gamestop gift card, and I'm paying for us to go see Ghost Rider 2. For Cayle, I got him a card, a new toy car, and I'm making him cookies. We're probably going to spend some time together at a playground depending on the weather. I can't wait to give Cayle and Troy their gifts. :)

Troy has dropped a hint that he's planning something. I'm so curious.!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

It's almost like a fairy tale.

The only thing that's missing are the talking animals. Troy and I spent some time together tonight. We've been together for a month as of yesterday. And things are still great. He definitely got me out of my shell. And I can really connect with him. I'm not afraid to tell him what I want or what I think. We make each other happy and we're both in it for the right reason. I'm definitely falling in love.






Sunday, February 5, 2012

Cayle. (picture post.)

I'm enjoying every minute with Cayle. It's about time for a family outing. We haven't had a chance to really have one lately. But being the middle of February, there isn't much I can think of to do. These last couple of days have been pretty, but the weather is so bi-polar right now. Maybe the discovery museum or the zoo would be fun.

Valentine's day is coming up. We need to do some crafts.! I should probably look for some. Over the weekend I got Troy's and Cayle's Valentine's gifts. I got Troy a blanket, a Reese's chocolate heart, and a picture frame with one of our pictures in it. I'm gonna sleep with the blanket I got him and spray it with my perfume because he likes the way I smell. And he tells me all the time he occasionally smells my perfume on his sheets, but then it fades, and it makes him sad so maybe this way it'll last longer. Since his birthday is the same day as Valentine's day..I have a plan to do something special that weekend. He wants to see the new Ghost Rider movie..so I'm gonna surprise him with tickets to see it and a cookie cake. Cayle's Valentine consists of Hot Wheels cars, a card, and either a cupcake or a valentine's day cookie. I haven't decided. Probably a cupcake though.

Tonight I am catching up on my scrapbooking. I am 7 pages behind.! I went to Walmart to print off some pictures so I can get started. Think it's a bad idea to start a scrapbook (or photo album) of Troy and me.? I'm trying to get all of Cayle's pictures in albums or scrapbooks or frames too and I've just about got them all. I'm proud :)