I've always had issues with depression and anxiety ever since I was young. And it's really kept me from being able to enjoy anything. I notice though that it always peaks in the summer. I always hit some rut in the summer and I just can't figure out why. I try everything I can to make it better. Meditation, quality time with Cayle, time for myself, relaxation,lots of coffee, doing things to give myself peace of mind. But nothing works. I am still on edge all the time. I've been crying and not sleeping more this summer than I have in a very long time. And it really kills me to admit this because it makes me feel like a bad mother who can't deal with life. Almost like a crazy person. In my reality I KNOW that isn't true, but in my anxiety based reality I feel like a mad woman. And I don't really know how to explain myself other than I've suppressed the depression and dealt with the anxiety for years and it's made it's way to the surface.
Everything is a trigger. I went to the mall for the first time since I left Regis Hair Salon. And my heart raced when I walked in. I felt like everyone was looking at me. I felt my chest get tight. I had a panic about me. I can't be left alone at night without feeling trapped in my thoughts and worries. Part of me just wants to sleep constantly so I don't have to deal with anything that is bothering me. And the other half of me can't sleep at night. I've slept maybe 12-18 hours this week.
I am socially torn as well. I WANT to be able to do things with friends or family or whoever because part of me is sick of being alone all the time. Cayle and I go out and do things together all the time. But a 3 year old can only be so much company after a while. But the other side of me WANTS to be left alone. And whenever people talk to me (my family especially) I get pissed off and defensive. It's hard for me to want to go out and be around others. I don't enjoy going out with Cayle on the weekends because it is so crowded or loud. And that's not fair to him. I don't want people around me. I want to be left alone in whatever I was doing. It's this way all the time and I really don't know what to do with myself. I feel like a crazy person sometimes..I really do. I should be happy and worry free, and able to deal with problems head on.
I'm always worrying about the future. Money, job, moving out, making it on my own, relationships, motherhood, future events, and whatever else may be passing through my mind. It goes about a million miles a minute in all different directions. And it's hard to not get consumed by it. Money is always going to be a worry. I've come to understand this. Moving out is becoming more and more necessary by the day. Each day that goes by I feel more and more mediocre. I go work. I come home. Spend time with Cayle. Go to sleep in a dirty dusty basement where I have no personal space and nowhere to put my things. Nowhere to entertain friends if I had them. I don't even feel comfortable having Cayle down here. And he's been wanting to sleep with me at night. And that's hard when the only thing I want to do at night is lay down and cry. And wake up the next day to do it all over again. Ryan and I have had a first fight. Not even a fight..more like brutal honesty which has made me back away from him and now I'm a nervous wreck because of it. Which definitely doesn't make the situation any better. Don't know where we stand.. don't know with my mentality if I can get past it. Having my feelings dragged through the mud since I was 16 doesn't make it any better. The one man I find that doesn't want to hurt me says some things that hurt me and I want to run for the hills...or at least back up so I don't get my heart broken..and it makes me wonder if I'm ever going to be truly happy and unafraid of letting someone in completely. I just don't know where to turn.. I don't really speak to much of anyone anymore. Regis killed my social life. And now that I'm at a job where I am on a schedule where I could have a life if I wanted one I realize I don't have anyone to have a social life with. So I sit at home Fridays and Saturdays. Maybe go to Ryan's after Cayle is in bed but other than that I don't do anything. I take Cayle somewhere special a few times a month to try to make the most of our time together. No matter how bad I feel..I always try to put Cayle first. It just seems like everything emotionally has caught up to me and I'm backed into a corner.
I've considered therapy and thought that it could possibly help me..but telling my parents that I want to go talk to a therapist is terrifying because they will blow it out of the water. Worrying about me or whatever it may be. Then The social part of this whole thing will get worse. They will not leave me alone if I tell them I want therapy. And that will make me angry and the whole deal will blow up. And I'm just not ready to deal with that...I can't. I'm at wit's end as it is. Back at the end of 2009 I was on medicine for depression for 2 months and I quit taking them because I felt like being on medication would turn me into a zombie and Cayle would have a piece of crap for a mother too. He already had a crappy sperm donor..he doesn't need a crappy mother too. I don't want that for him. I want to be able to give him everything and be happy for him during the process. That alone just seems to be getting harder and harder. And I just have to put on a happy front for him..but I feel like when he gets older..he will realize his mother isn't happy and start to question it all. And I really want to fix this before it gets worse. But how can I? My parents don't respect me. I'm on their insurance. So I'd have to go through them if I wanted therapy. And that's not happening. I've tried natural remedies for depression and anxiety and that doesn't work. It knocks off the edge but it's still there.
Where can I go from here?
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
It's never too early to plan a birthday party!
I'm really into early planning and being prepared for what's to come. So I want to get a start on planning Cayle's birthday party.
As far as a theme, Cayle has really gotten into pirates. He watches a lot of Jake and the Neverland Pirates. And sometimes he calls me "Pirate Mommy" so what better way embrace that than a pirate birthday party/ Neverland Pirates party? I really enjoyed the venue I booked last year, but I am considering having the party at my house this year and renting a bouncy house in the shape of a Pirate ship. Cayle's parties aren't very big since I'm not close with my extended family and working at Regis killed my social life I don't have many friends anymore. And as far as food goes Daddy has volunteered to be King Of The Grill and do burgers and hot dogs.
Having the party at my house would cut the cost down a bit and with the leftover money I would like to take Cayle to Gatlinburg for a weekend. Just the two of us. It would be our first trip together. We could stay in a little cottage for $75 a night and maybe go to the aquarium or museums or something. I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. We may even be able to find something a little cheaper. But it'll be fun if I can pull it off!
I have a lot of expenses coming up within the next 5-7 months with the holidays and birthdays and festivities I hope I can pull it all off. If I prep now I know I can. :)
As far as a theme, Cayle has really gotten into pirates. He watches a lot of Jake and the Neverland Pirates. And sometimes he calls me "Pirate Mommy" so what better way embrace that than a pirate birthday party/ Neverland Pirates party? I really enjoyed the venue I booked last year, but I am considering having the party at my house this year and renting a bouncy house in the shape of a Pirate ship. Cayle's parties aren't very big since I'm not close with my extended family and working at Regis killed my social life I don't have many friends anymore. And as far as food goes Daddy has volunteered to be King Of The Grill and do burgers and hot dogs.
Having the party at my house would cut the cost down a bit and with the leftover money I would like to take Cayle to Gatlinburg for a weekend. Just the two of us. It would be our first trip together. We could stay in a little cottage for $75 a night and maybe go to the aquarium or museums or something. I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. We may even be able to find something a little cheaper. But it'll be fun if I can pull it off!
I have a lot of expenses coming up within the next 5-7 months with the holidays and birthdays and festivities I hope I can pull it all off. If I prep now I know I can. :)
Friday, June 7, 2013
You can't keep this girl down.
Guess who found a new job? This girl. That trailer trash lady (her salon is in a trailer) who turned me down after 3 weeks is losing one hell of a stylist. I may not be the best out there but I have a passion and drive to where I won't quit. This salon is called Flip Hair Studio. It's much nicer than where I was. I get Sundays and Mondays off. I can even take a Saturday every now and then if I want one. I get 60% of my service sales. They even pay me to shampoo and style their clients. I can sell whatever retail I want. I can keep all of that money. I can use any product lines I want. I can wear whatever I want. I can make my own hours. They let me promote myself any way I want. Which is awesome! Everyone is pretty nice. I think it was a blessing in disguise to be let go after 3 weeks at the other place. The best thing I can do now is promote myself and get my finances built back up.
I've been thinking a lot about the future for Cayle and myself. And I've come to the realization that if I keep doing the same things I won't get to where I want to be. So my plan is to rebuild my savings account (from job hopping it was completely shot) and really try to get everything ready and stable so Cayle and I can be on our own one day. I couldn't stand Regis salon another day. Even though it was steady pay, for one thing it wasn't enough for what I want to do with my life, my boss screwed me over, and I need to be in a place like where I am now so I can be there for my son. All the money in the world can't stop me from being a mommy. That's always going to be my most important job. At work I am going to give my 200% effort into everything. With clients, helping out around the salon, to self marketing. I really want this place to work so I can be a family with my son.
I've also thought about my physical being. How I want to be healthy and in shape for not only myself but for Cayle. It's not good for him to see me indulge in unhealthy habits such as fast food, drinking sodas like there's no tomorrow, and bumming on the couch when it's too nice outside to be indoors. I have never been a summer lover. I hate it to be completely honest. I much rather prefer Autumn where I can step outside and feel crisp cool air on my face and a feeling of comfort consumes me. But whether I want it or not..Summer is here so I think it's best if I try to embrace it. Enjoy things like fireworks and festivals and play time with Cayle in the yard. So with all of this being said I want to try to embrace some healthier habits. Drink more water, pack a healthy lunch, spend some time outside with Cayle. In the end it'll pay off. And by Autumn hopefully some weight will have dropped and I can get some nice outfits for Fall. Being in this new place..all the girls come to work looking very polished and definitely more my taste so I'm definitely going to have to step up my game in the fashion department. I wear dresses but it's definitley not enough.
So game plan is to build finances, clientele, drop some weight, and go at it with guns blazing!!
I've been thinking a lot about the future for Cayle and myself. And I've come to the realization that if I keep doing the same things I won't get to where I want to be. So my plan is to rebuild my savings account (from job hopping it was completely shot) and really try to get everything ready and stable so Cayle and I can be on our own one day. I couldn't stand Regis salon another day. Even though it was steady pay, for one thing it wasn't enough for what I want to do with my life, my boss screwed me over, and I need to be in a place like where I am now so I can be there for my son. All the money in the world can't stop me from being a mommy. That's always going to be my most important job. At work I am going to give my 200% effort into everything. With clients, helping out around the salon, to self marketing. I really want this place to work so I can be a family with my son.
I've also thought about my physical being. How I want to be healthy and in shape for not only myself but for Cayle. It's not good for him to see me indulge in unhealthy habits such as fast food, drinking sodas like there's no tomorrow, and bumming on the couch when it's too nice outside to be indoors. I have never been a summer lover. I hate it to be completely honest. I much rather prefer Autumn where I can step outside and feel crisp cool air on my face and a feeling of comfort consumes me. But whether I want it or not..Summer is here so I think it's best if I try to embrace it. Enjoy things like fireworks and festivals and play time with Cayle in the yard. So with all of this being said I want to try to embrace some healthier habits. Drink more water, pack a healthy lunch, spend some time outside with Cayle. In the end it'll pay off. And by Autumn hopefully some weight will have dropped and I can get some nice outfits for Fall. Being in this new place..all the girls come to work looking very polished and definitely more my taste so I'm definitely going to have to step up my game in the fashion department. I wear dresses but it's definitley not enough.
So game plan is to build finances, clientele, drop some weight, and go at it with guns blazing!!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Summer is always a bad time for me..
As most of you know I started a new job three weeks ago. And I was really happy to be working in a place that fit my schedule and where people were nicer. Just as I'm starting to get the swing of things.. sh*t hits the fan. I get a phone call from Monika ( my boss) saying that it's slowed down and she doesn't need me anymore. That I need to go somewhere else. Somewhere that pays hourly. It's really funny how all of a sudden she doesn't need me anymore. After she gets caught up. After I teach her a few things. My old boss from Regis does her hair..and all this happened right after. I bet you money that old hag had something to do with this.. So long story short..I am out of a job. And I have no idea what I'm going to do..Any and all clientele I had has been kicked out from under me because of her. I'm at a low point. Finding a new job just seems so hard because I looked for 2 months before I left Regis. I don't want to be in another chain salon because they suck the life out of you and they don't care about whether you have family or not. That was the problem with Regis. I worked until 10 every night. I worked every holiday. Almost missed Cayle's birthday. And it's just not something I want to get sucked into again. It's not good for Cayle. I'll give up doing hair before I work all night again. Most private salons want you to have a clientele and to pay booth rent. Booth rent ranges from 75 to 175 dollars a week. And you have to have a clientele to pay for something like that. But if I could get in somewhere I would be able to be my own boss. Which would be wonderful..but finding someone that would understand my situation and everything that's happened is hard these days. Daddy even offered to help me start my own business. That's always an option..but again..clientele. Regis clientele weren't loyal so it didn't help much. Part of me wants to give up and just find a job that is 9 ti 5 and pays good whether it's hair or not. Part of me wants to keep going..but it takes time. Time is a luxury I don't really have..I want out of my parent's house. I want to be able to have my own place and not try to raise a family out of someone else's home..And I'm trying everything I can possibly do. Mom even suggested I clean the house for money again. But what she pays isn't enough. It's enough for a tank of gas. And I want my own money. Not someone else's. I'm at a loss at this point. I really don't know where to go from here...
On a positive note..Ryan met my family. And it couldn't have gone better. My family really likes him. Dad especially. He came over for BBQ and drinks. Ryan even taught me how to fish. He had a big bass hooked and it got away so he let me try to fish for him. And I hooked him and had him reeled all the way in and he got off the hook. And then Ryan tried one more time and had him half way reeled in and he got off the hook again! Daddy really enjoyed meeting him. He kept inviting him over and out places which he never does. Ryan and Mom had fun talking. They cracked up about everything. I'm glad the whole 'meeting the family' thing is over and we can move on.
Ryan has been so supportive and understanding about this whole job ordeal. He said he would help me find something and that Monika is losing one hell of a stylist. And she's going to find herself in a world of trouble when she doesn't have any help. He always has a way to make me smile when I'm worried to no end. And it's the way he is that makes me think that we could go far and that maybe..just maybe he's the one. We don't get to go out on the town often..but we make up for it in other ways. We go when we can and if not we stay in and cook or watch movies or go for a drive. He's just an amazing guy. And in a way he's my best friend. And I think that's what makes us thrive. I can say anything or look at him and he knows exactly what I'm thinking or talking about. I think it's safe to say I like him. Hahah.
This is completely random..but Ryan has got me turned on to this show 'The Walking Dead'. If anyone has paid any mind to my pinterest page or facebook..you'll notice I watched all 3 seasons in a week. Normally I don't like zombies because they're kinda..overrated but this is amazing. I love Daryl he's my favorite character. I like that Ryan and I have something to bond over.
On a positive note..Ryan met my family. And it couldn't have gone better. My family really likes him. Dad especially. He came over for BBQ and drinks. Ryan even taught me how to fish. He had a big bass hooked and it got away so he let me try to fish for him. And I hooked him and had him reeled all the way in and he got off the hook. And then Ryan tried one more time and had him half way reeled in and he got off the hook again! Daddy really enjoyed meeting him. He kept inviting him over and out places which he never does. Ryan and Mom had fun talking. They cracked up about everything. I'm glad the whole 'meeting the family' thing is over and we can move on.
Ryan has been so supportive and understanding about this whole job ordeal. He said he would help me find something and that Monika is losing one hell of a stylist. And she's going to find herself in a world of trouble when she doesn't have any help. He always has a way to make me smile when I'm worried to no end. And it's the way he is that makes me think that we could go far and that maybe..just maybe he's the one. We don't get to go out on the town often..but we make up for it in other ways. We go when we can and if not we stay in and cook or watch movies or go for a drive. He's just an amazing guy. And in a way he's my best friend. And I think that's what makes us thrive. I can say anything or look at him and he knows exactly what I'm thinking or talking about. I think it's safe to say I like him. Hahah.
This is completely random..but Ryan has got me turned on to this show 'The Walking Dead'. If anyone has paid any mind to my pinterest page or facebook..you'll notice I watched all 3 seasons in a week. Normally I don't like zombies because they're kinda..overrated but this is amazing. I love Daryl he's my favorite character. I like that Ryan and I have something to bond over.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
I'm such a bad blogger..but I'm gonna get better!!
I haven't been on this thing in almost 2 months! That's awful!! I'm still alive people! Haha. I have so much news I think my head is going to explode!
Firstly....drum roll please...I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!! I couldn't be happier. I've been there 3 weeks and I'm already getting people calling and scheduling with me! How awesome is that?!? My new place is called Salon Monika. It's privately owned, I make my own schedule, I get all the walk-ins, 60% commission, Sundays off, freedom to wear whatever I please, and everyone there treats me with respect! They really like my work and they make me feel good about my abilities. No more mall for me! This place is only 15 minutes from my house and I work 2 streets away from Ryan and right around the corner from my mom. It's pretty sweet. Plus being away from the mall is better for my wallet. Not to mention I'm bringing in almost double what I made at Regis.
Cayle is doing fantastic. We've been doing all sorts of things together in order to make this summer a fresh start. Summers before haven't been a good time in my life for me but this year I am determined to change it. So I've started a bucket list. In the past couple of months that I haven't been on here, Cayle and I have been out for frozen yogurt (that's our new favorite thing), we've been to the aquarium, I've changed my hair color, we've been to the Chattanooga Choo Choo model railroad, I've met Ryan's mom and stepfather, I've gone to two concerts (Sister Hazel and Luke Bryan and Luke Bryan actually spoke to me!), I took Cayle fishing for the first time with Daddy and my brother, and so much more! I can't even think of it all!
Ryan and I are still crazy about each other. I met his mother a few weeks ago. She was so fun to be around. And she loves Cayle! She even came up with a nickname for Cayle to call Ryan (Ry Ry). She even stopped by to say hi to me at work, and according to Monika (she knows Ryan's mom) she never stops to talk so she must like me. He was even sweet enough to think of me on Mother's day and bought me one of my favorite chocolate treats. He's meeting my family on Memorial day weekend at our annual cookout. I'm excited but nervous. Mom seems to like him from what I've told her about him. And Dad hasn't said much but Ryan reminds me a lot of my Dad so I think they'll really hit it off.
Mother's Day was so great! Daddy made mom and me breakfast, "Cayle" got me a new charm for my pandora bracelet. It says "Loving Mother" on it. He also got me a collection of Elvis movies!! I have a new obsession with Elvis Presley lately. Not too sure why. I just watched one of his movies the other night and I fell in love. I got Mom a gift certificate to her favorite makeup place and a cd she's been wanting. Then Cayle kept saying he wanted to go fishing so I went out and bought him a pole. Daddy and I walked him down to the lake behind my house and took him fishing. He caught three little fish. He was so proud! And so was I. Daddy made the moms dinner on the grill and it turned out to be a very relaxing day with my family.
I mentioned earlier about going to a few concerts over the past month. I went to go see a band I grew up listening to called Sister Hazel. They played at Rhythm and Brews downtown and I HAD to go! I knew every song they did and I couldn't help but smile. They sounded exactly like they did 10 years ago.
Anyone that knows me (or pays attention to my facebook page) knows that I am madly in love with two men. One being the actor Channing Tatum and the other being the country artist Luke Bryan. Well guess who got to see Luke in concert!? Yours truly. I was so excited!!!! He played downtown at Track 29. I camped out in the sun all day to make sure I got a good spot. But baking in the sun came with a price..after 7 hours in the sun waiting for the doors of the venue to open I rushed to the very front. Center stage. 5 feet away from the stage. While waiting for the show to start...I pass out from dehydration. I wake up and two security people are carrying me away from my spot. I kept trying to insist that I was fine and To put me back in my spot but they sat me in a chair outside and got me water. They promised that they would get me my spot back. They walked away to go take care of something..and about the time they walked away....LUKE BRYAN came out of the door right next to the chair I was sitting in! My eyes got HUGE. He looked down at me and asked "Are you ok?" I guess I looked pretty rough. I managed to squeak "Yeah I'm better now". And he smiled and walked on to his bus. I was in complete shock. I guess I was in the right place at the right time. That will more than likely never happen again but I'm happy I passed out as odd as that was to say. And i did manage to get my spot back center stage. And after the Luke concert Ryan and I watched the meteor shower snuggled up on a big blanket outside in his back yard. I'd say this summer seems to be very promising.
I am trying to really embrace life now that I'm not working a ridiculous schedule anymore. With that being said I am going to see a group that were on my bucket list to see. They're called Celtic Thunder. They're a group of men from Ireland who sing Celtic Folk music. I managed to get a seat really close. I am four rows back stage left. This show is in Knoxville but it's not until October, but it'll give me something to look forward to this summer.
This Summer Cayle and I are going to really embrace everything. I wanna take him to fire works, baseball games, fishing, parks, whatever I can to create memories. Making the move from Regis to Salon Monika was probably the best move I could've made. I am so much happier for one thing. And so is Cayle. He's even said "I'm so glad you're home mommy". I was scared to do it because of the cash flow and leaving what was comfortable, but it turned out to be a great thing. Now I feel like I can really go far.
This is who I am going to see in the Fall.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=D0KZjmiL7xs
Firstly....drum roll please...I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!! I couldn't be happier. I've been there 3 weeks and I'm already getting people calling and scheduling with me! How awesome is that?!? My new place is called Salon Monika. It's privately owned, I make my own schedule, I get all the walk-ins, 60% commission, Sundays off, freedom to wear whatever I please, and everyone there treats me with respect! They really like my work and they make me feel good about my abilities. No more mall for me! This place is only 15 minutes from my house and I work 2 streets away from Ryan and right around the corner from my mom. It's pretty sweet. Plus being away from the mall is better for my wallet. Not to mention I'm bringing in almost double what I made at Regis.
Cayle is doing fantastic. We've been doing all sorts of things together in order to make this summer a fresh start. Summers before haven't been a good time in my life for me but this year I am determined to change it. So I've started a bucket list. In the past couple of months that I haven't been on here, Cayle and I have been out for frozen yogurt (that's our new favorite thing), we've been to the aquarium, I've changed my hair color, we've been to the Chattanooga Choo Choo model railroad, I've met Ryan's mom and stepfather, I've gone to two concerts (Sister Hazel and Luke Bryan and Luke Bryan actually spoke to me!), I took Cayle fishing for the first time with Daddy and my brother, and so much more! I can't even think of it all!
Ryan and I are still crazy about each other. I met his mother a few weeks ago. She was so fun to be around. And she loves Cayle! She even came up with a nickname for Cayle to call Ryan (Ry Ry). She even stopped by to say hi to me at work, and according to Monika (she knows Ryan's mom) she never stops to talk so she must like me. He was even sweet enough to think of me on Mother's day and bought me one of my favorite chocolate treats. He's meeting my family on Memorial day weekend at our annual cookout. I'm excited but nervous. Mom seems to like him from what I've told her about him. And Dad hasn't said much but Ryan reminds me a lot of my Dad so I think they'll really hit it off.
Mother's Day was so great! Daddy made mom and me breakfast, "Cayle" got me a new charm for my pandora bracelet. It says "Loving Mother" on it. He also got me a collection of Elvis movies!! I have a new obsession with Elvis Presley lately. Not too sure why. I just watched one of his movies the other night and I fell in love. I got Mom a gift certificate to her favorite makeup place and a cd she's been wanting. Then Cayle kept saying he wanted to go fishing so I went out and bought him a pole. Daddy and I walked him down to the lake behind my house and took him fishing. He caught three little fish. He was so proud! And so was I. Daddy made the moms dinner on the grill and it turned out to be a very relaxing day with my family.
I mentioned earlier about going to a few concerts over the past month. I went to go see a band I grew up listening to called Sister Hazel. They played at Rhythm and Brews downtown and I HAD to go! I knew every song they did and I couldn't help but smile. They sounded exactly like they did 10 years ago.
Anyone that knows me (or pays attention to my facebook page) knows that I am madly in love with two men. One being the actor Channing Tatum and the other being the country artist Luke Bryan. Well guess who got to see Luke in concert!? Yours truly. I was so excited!!!! He played downtown at Track 29. I camped out in the sun all day to make sure I got a good spot. But baking in the sun came with a price..after 7 hours in the sun waiting for the doors of the venue to open I rushed to the very front. Center stage. 5 feet away from the stage. While waiting for the show to start...I pass out from dehydration. I wake up and two security people are carrying me away from my spot. I kept trying to insist that I was fine and To put me back in my spot but they sat me in a chair outside and got me water. They promised that they would get me my spot back. They walked away to go take care of something..and about the time they walked away....LUKE BRYAN came out of the door right next to the chair I was sitting in! My eyes got HUGE. He looked down at me and asked "Are you ok?" I guess I looked pretty rough. I managed to squeak "Yeah I'm better now". And he smiled and walked on to his bus. I was in complete shock. I guess I was in the right place at the right time. That will more than likely never happen again but I'm happy I passed out as odd as that was to say. And i did manage to get my spot back center stage. And after the Luke concert Ryan and I watched the meteor shower snuggled up on a big blanket outside in his back yard. I'd say this summer seems to be very promising.
I am trying to really embrace life now that I'm not working a ridiculous schedule anymore. With that being said I am going to see a group that were on my bucket list to see. They're called Celtic Thunder. They're a group of men from Ireland who sing Celtic Folk music. I managed to get a seat really close. I am four rows back stage left. This show is in Knoxville but it's not until October, but it'll give me something to look forward to this summer.
This Summer Cayle and I are going to really embrace everything. I wanna take him to fire works, baseball games, fishing, parks, whatever I can to create memories. Making the move from Regis to Salon Monika was probably the best move I could've made. I am so much happier for one thing. And so is Cayle. He's even said "I'm so glad you're home mommy". I was scared to do it because of the cash flow and leaving what was comfortable, but it turned out to be a great thing. Now I feel like I can really go far.
This is who I am going to see in the Fall.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=D0KZjmiL7xs
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Things are changing..
I just celebrated my 21st birthday and boy was that fun! I got a spray tan, my nails done, and treated myself to a little shopping. My parents took me to dinner. My boyfriend, Ryan, took me to lunch. One of my best friends treated me to drinks. I got 2 new charms for my pandora bracelet and several birthday cards. I'll go ahead and say it. I don't remember much after getting to the Honest Pint. But I was sure to have a DD and I was completely safe about it. I do remember puking my guts up 3 times though.
Cayle's Easter basket is complete. I can't wait for everyone to see it. It has all of his favorite things in it. I also decided to get his picture made with the Easter bunny one day this week.
I have some major news!! I have 2 interviews this week on the same day! Both of the managers called me from Sports Clips asking me to come in. I'm excited. They pay more than Regis does. The only downsides are that I'm leaving my friends at Regis and the clientele I have. But to be honest..I have to go where the money goes. I'm not making enough. There are too many people at Regis. And my schedule sucks to be frank. I'm really going to take my time and find out about this one. I don't want to go from bad to worse. Sports Clips isn't my ideal salon but I'm keeping an open mind and hoping this will be my ticket out of Regis.
I have not mentioned to anyone about the boyfriend. We've been dating officially for 2 months, but I've known him since July of 2012. We talked on and off and back in October I txted him spur of the moment and told him that I missed him and wanted to hang out..we've been together almost every weekend since then. Cayle has met him a couple times and he really likes to play with him. Ryan is 28, has his own house, a car, a job, and things keep getting better for us. He has yet to meet my family, but keeps hinting that he wants to. So we will see. I'm in no hurry for anything of course but I'm definitely happy to have him.
Wish me luck on my interviews!
Cayle's Easter basket is complete. I can't wait for everyone to see it. It has all of his favorite things in it. I also decided to get his picture made with the Easter bunny one day this week.
I have some major news!! I have 2 interviews this week on the same day! Both of the managers called me from Sports Clips asking me to come in. I'm excited. They pay more than Regis does. The only downsides are that I'm leaving my friends at Regis and the clientele I have. But to be honest..I have to go where the money goes. I'm not making enough. There are too many people at Regis. And my schedule sucks to be frank. I'm really going to take my time and find out about this one. I don't want to go from bad to worse. Sports Clips isn't my ideal salon but I'm keeping an open mind and hoping this will be my ticket out of Regis.
I have not mentioned to anyone about the boyfriend. We've been dating officially for 2 months, but I've known him since July of 2012. We talked on and off and back in October I txted him spur of the moment and told him that I missed him and wanted to hang out..we've been together almost every weekend since then. Cayle has met him a couple times and he really likes to play with him. Ryan is 28, has his own house, a car, a job, and things keep getting better for us. He has yet to meet my family, but keeps hinting that he wants to. So we will see. I'm in no hurry for anything of course but I'm definitely happy to have him.
Wish me luck on my interviews!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
A lot going on for Cayle.
I haven't been still long enough to post to this thing..and I really should make more time to blog! But Cayle and I have been busy busy! I took him to Chuck E. Cheese for the first time last week. Mom went with us. It was actually really nice to have her with us. She liked helping Cayle play the games. We ended up winning 300 tickets, but we are saving them for our next trip. Things there have changed so much since I was a kid. The cleanliness and customer service are so much better.
Cayle has successfully made the transition from crib to toddler bed! He just decided one night he wanted to sleep in what he calls "Cayle's bed" and didn't think twice about it. And he's really good about staying in bed all night. Now if only potty training was that easy! In order to give him more space in his room...I put his crib on craigslist..and it sold really fast. It's happy but sad. My baby is growing up on me. He's the only one I'm ever going to have (that I'm planning on). I try to hold on to every moment together because once it's gone..it's gone. The lady is coming to pick it up Saturday I believe so hopefully that goes well.
Easter is coming. I'm contemplating having a picture done with the Easter bunny. What do you guys think? I have to make Cayle's basket too. Not too sure what to put in it. I'm thinking about keeping it simple. He likes things like stickers, bubbles, hot wheels, jelly beans, crayons. I'll look and see what I can find.
I've always been crafty. But I'm thinking about starting to make wreaths for the door abd either giving them away as gifts or selling them. I can make them for next to nothing and turn around and sell them for double what I spent on making them. Cayle could even help me.
I think I've settled on a car. Who's to say my mind won't change. But I've narrowed it down to a Chevy. Either an Equinox or a HHR. Daddy is taking me test driving this weekend because I am so tired of not having a clear idea of what I want. We will just have to see!
Cayle has successfully made the transition from crib to toddler bed! He just decided one night he wanted to sleep in what he calls "Cayle's bed" and didn't think twice about it. And he's really good about staying in bed all night. Now if only potty training was that easy! In order to give him more space in his room...I put his crib on craigslist..and it sold really fast. It's happy but sad. My baby is growing up on me. He's the only one I'm ever going to have (that I'm planning on). I try to hold on to every moment together because once it's gone..it's gone. The lady is coming to pick it up Saturday I believe so hopefully that goes well.
Easter is coming. I'm contemplating having a picture done with the Easter bunny. What do you guys think? I have to make Cayle's basket too. Not too sure what to put in it. I'm thinking about keeping it simple. He likes things like stickers, bubbles, hot wheels, jelly beans, crayons. I'll look and see what I can find.
I've always been crafty. But I'm thinking about starting to make wreaths for the door abd either giving them away as gifts or selling them. I can make them for next to nothing and turn around and sell them for double what I spent on making them. Cayle could even help me.
I think I've settled on a car. Who's to say my mind won't change. But I've narrowed it down to a Chevy. Either an Equinox or a HHR. Daddy is taking me test driving this weekend because I am so tired of not having a clear idea of what I want. We will just have to see!
Friday, March 1, 2013
This month is going to be soooooo long :/
Cayle and I have been doing well. I try to spend every moment I can with him. We went to the park by my house the other day since it was pretty. And Tuesday we spend the day shopping. Normally Cayle doesn't like to go shopping but this time he was all for it. I got him a monster truck toy and I got some clothes for work. I'm trying to focus on wearing more dresses this year when the warm weather hits (which I am dreading). But I think the dresses will help. I found several. Including the one I wanted to wear for my birthday.
This month at work will be the death of me. It's customer appreciation month. I will be working 62 hours every other week. And I HATE it. I am so fed up with Regis I could scream. I'm tired of not being home at night with my baby. I'm tired of not having a flexible schedule. I'm tired of not making commission because she has too many people. I could work somewhere else and make way more money. It's just a matter of finding my fit.
This month at work will be the death of me. It's customer appreciation month. I will be working 62 hours every other week. And I HATE it. I am so fed up with Regis I could scream. I'm tired of not being home at night with my baby. I'm tired of not having a flexible schedule. I'm tired of not making commission because she has too many people. I could work somewhere else and make way more money. It's just a matter of finding my fit.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
"My Teenage Dream Ended" by Farrah Abraham.
I broke down and bought this book 2 weeks ago. As most of you know Farrah was one of the stars of the MTV show Teen Mom. I have a strong connection with Farrah's story for multiple reasons. One being that Farrah is very independent. She keeps pushing herself and trying to do the best she could for her daughter. Another being that she wanted to move far away to really spread her wings with her child. Both are very important to me. Her book really goes beyond what you saw on the show. I definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a good read. It made me really think about how I have so many goals and dreams and how I want to work my butt off to make all those dreams a reality. Moral of the story being dreams don't die; new ones are created every single day. Things might now turn out how you see them but everything has a way of falling into place, and if you keep pushing yourself and have your eyes on the prize eventually you will get there. And it just really inspired me to keep going. And trying my hardest to make the best possible life for me and my son. I loved reading this book and really hope someone I know reads it too.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Valentine's Day
Today was a really good Valentine's day! This morning Cayle and I got up and I made our breakfast. I gave him his Valentine. I got him a card, a TY beanie baby, a book, some candy, and "Be My Valentine Charlie Brown". He was so happy with it. Daddy got me a dozen roses, some Hershey kisses, a card, and a new charm for my Pandora bracelet. Mom got me some new socks with animal print on them. I was so spoiled.
I went to check out the Childcare Network today. And it was a nice daycare, but apparently they do not offer just one day a week. So that kind of ticked me off a little bit because I'm back to square one as far as finding someone to keep him while I go to work on Mondays. My cousin is an option, but I really want him to get to be around other kids and to learn. So we will see what happens.
I've decided to really try to work with Cayle on potty training. I've tried in the past, but he wanted no part in it. So I figured he would try when he felt ready, but he hasn't felt ready. So I went to Walmart to today to get some things to give him a step in the right direction. I got a new potty seat that goes on the toilet in the bathroom, some gold stars for a potty chart, and some big boy underwear. Both the potty seat and the underwear have Disney Cars characters on them so I thought those would be perfect. And sure enough when we brought it home, he wanted to sit on the potty. And he did for about 15 minutes, but no luck with actually getting him to go. It's a start at least. I also got him some books from the Dollar Tree to help him learn to write his letters, identify shapes, colors, and numbers. He already knows all of these things but I don't see anything wrong with doing some lessons during the day.
Tonight we went to dinner with Mom and Daddy to a Mexican place. Daddy surprised me with my charm to my bracelet. I love it! All in all, it was a good day. Here's some pictures from our today!
I went to check out the Childcare Network today. And it was a nice daycare, but apparently they do not offer just one day a week. So that kind of ticked me off a little bit because I'm back to square one as far as finding someone to keep him while I go to work on Mondays. My cousin is an option, but I really want him to get to be around other kids and to learn. So we will see what happens.
I've decided to really try to work with Cayle on potty training. I've tried in the past, but he wanted no part in it. So I figured he would try when he felt ready, but he hasn't felt ready. So I went to Walmart to today to get some things to give him a step in the right direction. I got a new potty seat that goes on the toilet in the bathroom, some gold stars for a potty chart, and some big boy underwear. Both the potty seat and the underwear have Disney Cars characters on them so I thought those would be perfect. And sure enough when we brought it home, he wanted to sit on the potty. And he did for about 15 minutes, but no luck with actually getting him to go. It's a start at least. I also got him some books from the Dollar Tree to help him learn to write his letters, identify shapes, colors, and numbers. He already knows all of these things but I don't see anything wrong with doing some lessons during the day.
Tonight we went to dinner with Mom and Daddy to a Mexican place. Daddy surprised me with my charm to my bracelet. I love it! All in all, it was a good day. Here's some pictures from our today!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Everything is happening so fast!!
Today I had a meeting this morning at work to go over everything coming up. My boss (Terrie) asked me and a girl I worked with (Sarah) to stay afterwards to talk. I was kinda nervous. But it turned out to be a good thing! My boss has agreed to give me a Monday day shift so not all my shifts have me here until 9! Sarah is going down to part time and needed a night shift and I wanted her day shift so we got to switch! So the start of my work week will be like this:
Sunday 12-6
Monday 9-5
Tuesday off day
Wednesday 3-9
Thursday off day
Friday 3-9
Saturday 3-9
so I can live with that for now. The first have will be days and off days. And the second half will be nights. It's better than no day shifts at all. With this being said.. Cayle will need care during the Monday I'm not home with him during the day. Normally, my cousin keeps him, but I feel as if Cayle is getting to the point where he needs to be around other kids. Little boys more so than anything. So I'm considering pre school one day a week. I'm touring a school tomorrow at noon to see what I think. They've quoted a price of $30 a week for the one day which I don't think you can beat. The thought of Cayle going to school saddens me..it makes me feel like he's growing up way too fast and as much as I try to hold onto him being small and loving me and being attached to my hip I know it can't stay that way. I hate the fact he has to grow up. But he needs kid time. He isn't around kids his age often so it'll be good for him to get that.
Another positive outcome from the meeting this morning is that I get to have my birthday off! That'll be so great! I have to work for a girl on her birthday but in return she will work for my birthday :)
And last positive outcome from the meeting, my vacation time I requested got approved! I get a weeks paid vacation starting October 30th through November 6th. So Cayle and I will have Halloween, his birthday, and his birthday party all together. And if all goes as planned I will have a little get away planned for us to Gatlinburg. Just depends on money and on the new car situation.
Now for the negative. March is customer appreciation month. I will be working 8 hour shifts every day I'm scheduled to work. And two 12 hour long shifts on Saturdays. It breaks my heart..I don't want to be away from Cayle that much..Cayle and I have been getting so close and I'm so scared that work is going to get in the way of all the bonding we've been doing. I know it's only a month...but I'm not happy about it. Sometimes I feel like this job can suck the life out of me. But it'll pay off in the long run when I get where I want to be in my life. I'm just going to take control of the direction I want to go with my life and go test drive some cars this weekend before I don't have time to with Customer Appreciation month. Wish me luck.
Sunday 12-6
Monday 9-5
Tuesday off day
Wednesday 3-9
Thursday off day
Friday 3-9
Saturday 3-9
so I can live with that for now. The first have will be days and off days. And the second half will be nights. It's better than no day shifts at all. With this being said.. Cayle will need care during the Monday I'm not home with him during the day. Normally, my cousin keeps him, but I feel as if Cayle is getting to the point where he needs to be around other kids. Little boys more so than anything. So I'm considering pre school one day a week. I'm touring a school tomorrow at noon to see what I think. They've quoted a price of $30 a week for the one day which I don't think you can beat. The thought of Cayle going to school saddens me..it makes me feel like he's growing up way too fast and as much as I try to hold onto him being small and loving me and being attached to my hip I know it can't stay that way. I hate the fact he has to grow up. But he needs kid time. He isn't around kids his age often so it'll be good for him to get that.
Another positive outcome from the meeting this morning is that I get to have my birthday off! That'll be so great! I have to work for a girl on her birthday but in return she will work for my birthday :)
And last positive outcome from the meeting, my vacation time I requested got approved! I get a weeks paid vacation starting October 30th through November 6th. So Cayle and I will have Halloween, his birthday, and his birthday party all together. And if all goes as planned I will have a little get away planned for us to Gatlinburg. Just depends on money and on the new car situation.
Now for the negative. March is customer appreciation month. I will be working 8 hour shifts every day I'm scheduled to work. And two 12 hour long shifts on Saturdays. It breaks my heart..I don't want to be away from Cayle that much..Cayle and I have been getting so close and I'm so scared that work is going to get in the way of all the bonding we've been doing. I know it's only a month...but I'm not happy about it. Sometimes I feel like this job can suck the life out of me. But it'll pay off in the long run when I get where I want to be in my life. I'm just going to take control of the direction I want to go with my life and go test drive some cars this weekend before I don't have time to with Customer Appreciation month. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Family Day with Cayle!
Today was my day off and on my days off I like to take Cayle somewhere special. And here lately, I've been running out of ideas so I decided to try something new. We went to the movies together for the first time! Our day was packed with fun!
First I had to run a quick errand at the salon store and pick up a brush and a client profile book so I could keep better record of my chemicals I've done. Afterwards, just for fun, we drove by a house that I looked at on Crye Leike. Perfect little town home for the 2 of us. Then after that Cayle and I went to dinner at Steak 'n' Shake. We got milkshakes and a really good meal! We went to Babies 'R' Us and Cayle picked out some cups he wanted and I looked into booster seats for him. It's time for a booster seat and I want to get an idea of what will be good for him and what is the safest one out there. Then we went to the Dollar Tree and got our snacks for the movie.
Cayle was so excited to go to the movies! We ended up seeing Hotel Transylvania.I can honestly say that's one of the cutest movies I've seen in a very long time. It wasn't scary at all even though it had monsters in it. He sat through almost all of it which is a great! Now we can go to movies more often. It was fun being the only 2 people in the whole theater. I love our family time together and it's always fun to try new things with him. Can't wait to see what we do next!
First I had to run a quick errand at the salon store and pick up a brush and a client profile book so I could keep better record of my chemicals I've done. Afterwards, just for fun, we drove by a house that I looked at on Crye Leike. Perfect little town home for the 2 of us. Then after that Cayle and I went to dinner at Steak 'n' Shake. We got milkshakes and a really good meal! We went to Babies 'R' Us and Cayle picked out some cups he wanted and I looked into booster seats for him. It's time for a booster seat and I want to get an idea of what will be good for him and what is the safest one out there. Then we went to the Dollar Tree and got our snacks for the movie.
Cayle was so excited to go to the movies! We ended up seeing Hotel Transylvania.I can honestly say that's one of the cutest movies I've seen in a very long time. It wasn't scary at all even though it had monsters in it. He sat through almost all of it which is a great! Now we can go to movies more often. It was fun being the only 2 people in the whole theater. I love our family time together and it's always fun to try new things with him. Can't wait to see what we do next!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
New starts and relieving stress.
I have been working for about 3 weeks now on clearing out the "clutter" in my life. Things that bother me, stress me out, or I've been putting off, I've been working to change that. I spent 4 nights clearing the clutter out of my living space. I threw away a garbage bag full of old socks, underwear, and torn up clothes, 4 bags of stuff I didn't wear anymore including shoes, coats, t shirts, jeans, pajamas and more! I threw away 3 bags of old papers, trash, junk that I haven't looked at in years, and things that held bad memories. I did all of my laundry and got my closet color coordinated. I even cleaned out my car! I threw away 2 bags full of trash and crap that my ex fiance had left in the car. I vacuumed it out and got a cherry scented air freshener! I've washed my sheets and caught up on my scrapbook for Cayle! The living space and car have looked better than they have in years! I've noticed that I'm falling asleep earlier and relaxing at night more. That may have been the problem all along as to why I couldn't sleep.
But that's not all! I even got my taxes done! Now I'm just waiting for my return! I'm very excited about that. With the money, I've decided to put it all towards my down payment on a car. I almost have enough for a good down payment. I'm having the hardest time deciding on what I want though! I'm considering a larger sedan but not an SUV. After driving my mother's SUV, it's just too much car for me and I don't want something that pretty much drinks gas. I've looked at a Honda Accord, Toyota Camry, Kia Optima, and the Ford Focus. Toyota Camry and the Honda Accord are at the the tip top of my list. And I've been able to find some good deals on both. So it's just a matter of test driving now and seeing what I like better. I'll be happy once I have a set make and model instead of just shooting in the dark.
I've been working on my "5 year plan" or my vision of how I see my life with Cayle in the next few years. And I see myself with a shiny new car (which will be the one I'm about to purchase) a beautiful town home, Cayle and myself being our own happy family with tons of family traditions and more love than anyone could ever know. I see my house having things exactly the way I have in my head. Glam with a personal touch in every room. Lots of family photos on the wall. Here lately, I've fallen in love with the idea of having a French Bulldog puppy. I think they're adorable. And by the time I have my house, I'll have a yard and I can have a puppy. Whatever home I decide on it needs to have a yard, a garage, 2-3 bedrooms and a place for family time. By then hopefully I'll have a better job (or better hours at the one I have now). Right now it's just a matter of time before I can put this plan into motion.
I'm also trying something this year. I want to take my vacation time this year right around Halloween. This way I'll have Halloween, Cayle's birthday, and Cayle's birthday party off! But not only that I want to do something special with him this year and take our first family vacation alone pending on my new car situation. I think a couple days in Gatlinburg will be wonderful! It'll be almost like a big birthday present. We can go to the aquarium and the Ripley's museum and all sorts of fun stuff up there! It'll be so fun. If I can find a place that's reasonably priced I want to take him. It's not far, but it's relaxing. Now it's just a matter of getting everything ready. Money, car, and time off. Things feel like they're coming together.
But that's not all! I even got my taxes done! Now I'm just waiting for my return! I'm very excited about that. With the money, I've decided to put it all towards my down payment on a car. I almost have enough for a good down payment. I'm having the hardest time deciding on what I want though! I'm considering a larger sedan but not an SUV. After driving my mother's SUV, it's just too much car for me and I don't want something that pretty much drinks gas. I've looked at a Honda Accord, Toyota Camry, Kia Optima, and the Ford Focus. Toyota Camry and the Honda Accord are at the the tip top of my list. And I've been able to find some good deals on both. So it's just a matter of test driving now and seeing what I like better. I'll be happy once I have a set make and model instead of just shooting in the dark.
I've been working on my "5 year plan" or my vision of how I see my life with Cayle in the next few years. And I see myself with a shiny new car (which will be the one I'm about to purchase) a beautiful town home, Cayle and myself being our own happy family with tons of family traditions and more love than anyone could ever know. I see my house having things exactly the way I have in my head. Glam with a personal touch in every room. Lots of family photos on the wall. Here lately, I've fallen in love with the idea of having a French Bulldog puppy. I think they're adorable. And by the time I have my house, I'll have a yard and I can have a puppy. Whatever home I decide on it needs to have a yard, a garage, 2-3 bedrooms and a place for family time. By then hopefully I'll have a better job (or better hours at the one I have now). Right now it's just a matter of time before I can put this plan into motion.
I'm also trying something this year. I want to take my vacation time this year right around Halloween. This way I'll have Halloween, Cayle's birthday, and Cayle's birthday party off! But not only that I want to do something special with him this year and take our first family vacation alone pending on my new car situation. I think a couple days in Gatlinburg will be wonderful! It'll be almost like a big birthday present. We can go to the aquarium and the Ripley's museum and all sorts of fun stuff up there! It'll be so fun. If I can find a place that's reasonably priced I want to take him. It's not far, but it's relaxing. Now it's just a matter of getting everything ready. Money, car, and time off. Things feel like they're coming together.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Family time.
I've really been neglecting this blog! I'm still here! Cayle and I just got home from a weekend getaway to Gatlinburg, TN. And it was so relaxing. I drove up Sunday night and stayed Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night. I came home Wednesday and went straight to work. Mom came back and I drove her car. That sucked, but the vacation time was so nice! We were able to fit in a lot in so little time. Monday Cayle, Amy (my sister-in-law), and I went to this cute boutique and did some shopping. I got Cayle a cute hat and me some necklaces. That night Zac (my older brother) and Amy went out and did their own thing, and Daddy, Cayle, and I went to dinner at Outback. I didn't realize how much I missed having family time until I actually got some.
The next day Daddy, Zac, Amy, Cayle, and I spent the day together. We had breakfast at Flap Jack's pancake house and then drove on into downtown Gatlinburg. We walked and shopped all day! Cayle got an air brushed shirt, a dream catcher, and a toy car. I got a pair of sandals and two t-shirts. I got to see a real Moonshine still and take lots of pictures! It was really a good day. That night we went to dinner at a place called Howard's. It's kind of like Red Robin but better. We went back to our cabin and I gave Cayle a bath in Daddy's big Jacuzzi tub. He LOVED it! He said he was "swimming".
Early the next morning, Daddy had to take Zac and Amy to the airport so they could fly back home to Florida. Daddy came home and we had breakfast together and got the car packed and I drove home.
It was so nice to be with my family for a little while. I really needed the break from work. It makes me excited for my week's paid vacation I get after May 24th. Not quite sure when or where I want to go (or even if I can) but I'd like for Cayle and I to try to vacation together this year for the first time. Gatlinburg is always nice. I'd like to go when it's cold though. Maybe in October when the leaves change. This is going to be a big year for us with getting a new car (hopefully by the start of Summer) a week's vacation, finding our own home. It's a big change but I'm ready for it all. I'm really working to set us up financially so we won't have any problems.
After being in my mom's big SUV and driving it all weekend, I can't help but think it might be too much car for me to have an SUV. So I've been looking into Honda Accords. They're safe, fashionable, efficient, and long lasting. But this is another post for another day. Here are some pics from the trip!
The next day Daddy, Zac, Amy, Cayle, and I spent the day together. We had breakfast at Flap Jack's pancake house and then drove on into downtown Gatlinburg. We walked and shopped all day! Cayle got an air brushed shirt, a dream catcher, and a toy car. I got a pair of sandals and two t-shirts. I got to see a real Moonshine still and take lots of pictures! It was really a good day. That night we went to dinner at a place called Howard's. It's kind of like Red Robin but better. We went back to our cabin and I gave Cayle a bath in Daddy's big Jacuzzi tub. He LOVED it! He said he was "swimming".
Early the next morning, Daddy had to take Zac and Amy to the airport so they could fly back home to Florida. Daddy came home and we had breakfast together and got the car packed and I drove home.
It was so nice to be with my family for a little while. I really needed the break from work. It makes me excited for my week's paid vacation I get after May 24th. Not quite sure when or where I want to go (or even if I can) but I'd like for Cayle and I to try to vacation together this year for the first time. Gatlinburg is always nice. I'd like to go when it's cold though. Maybe in October when the leaves change. This is going to be a big year for us with getting a new car (hopefully by the start of Summer) a week's vacation, finding our own home. It's a big change but I'm ready for it all. I'm really working to set us up financially so we won't have any problems.
After being in my mom's big SUV and driving it all weekend, I can't help but think it might be too much car for me to have an SUV. So I've been looking into Honda Accords. They're safe, fashionable, efficient, and long lasting. But this is another post for another day. Here are some pics from the trip!
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A little bit of everything going on and coming up!
Well..for the third time since I started doing hair at Regis salon I had a fantastic pay period! Well enough to make my 40% commission of service sales and 8% of my retail sales. So on my next check I will get 40% of 1285 dollars. And 8% of 606 dollars! This check will be better than all the rest of them! Which is exactly what I need right now! The better the checks the better it looks to the bank!
I got called in to work today. That sucked. I was looking forward to getting some quality time in with Cayle. That's all I've wanted lately is to be with him. But I made an accord with my boss. She said if I came in today and worked for her that she would give me a day off of my choosing. So I chose to have Monday the 28th off so I can enjoy a nice vacation with my family in the mountains that week. A MUCH NEEDED VACATION AT THAT! But Thursday I am turning off my phone and spending the day with my son. I miss him so much when I'm at work. And I feel like I miss so much so I have to make the time together worth while. I have to work in order to make the best life for us but sometimes I wish I didn't.
Cayle and I have been doing well. We are really enjoying the winter weather. Recently, I've taken him to the aquarium and Pump It Up. And he's been to see my niece (Kay's daughter) Kynley. He loves her! I'm so glad he's good with babies and animals. The last week on January we are going to Gatlinburg with my family to stay in a nice cabin and relax. I honestly don't want to do much else. I am turning off my phone and I am simply going to kick back. I need a nice little get away and time with Cayle so I can't wait!
An update on the car hunt..I am going test driving this weekend to see what I like and don't like so I can set my sights on one specific car. And I am dragging Daddy with me so those sharks..I mean car salesmen don't eat me alive. I'm really interested in a small SUV if I can find one reasonably priced, however I am not against a small car..as long as it's bigger than the one I already have. 2013 is all about fresh starts. And so far it's getting there. Slowly but surely.
Daddy always tells me to not forget to "pay myself". After putting back some for my car, taking care of my financial obligations (gas for the car, lay away, baby needs, etc) so I bought myself some new work shoes. They're really comfy!
These are some pictures from Christmas to today! Cayle got into the baby powder and made a huge mess! I couldn'
t help but laugh. He was pretending it was snowing!
I got called in to work today. That sucked. I was looking forward to getting some quality time in with Cayle. That's all I've wanted lately is to be with him. But I made an accord with my boss. She said if I came in today and worked for her that she would give me a day off of my choosing. So I chose to have Monday the 28th off so I can enjoy a nice vacation with my family in the mountains that week. A MUCH NEEDED VACATION AT THAT! But Thursday I am turning off my phone and spending the day with my son. I miss him so much when I'm at work. And I feel like I miss so much so I have to make the time together worth while. I have to work in order to make the best life for us but sometimes I wish I didn't.
Cayle and I have been doing well. We are really enjoying the winter weather. Recently, I've taken him to the aquarium and Pump It Up. And he's been to see my niece (Kay's daughter) Kynley. He loves her! I'm so glad he's good with babies and animals. The last week on January we are going to Gatlinburg with my family to stay in a nice cabin and relax. I honestly don't want to do much else. I am turning off my phone and I am simply going to kick back. I need a nice little get away and time with Cayle so I can't wait!
An update on the car hunt..I am going test driving this weekend to see what I like and don't like so I can set my sights on one specific car. And I am dragging Daddy with me so those sharks..I mean car salesmen don't eat me alive. I'm really interested in a small SUV if I can find one reasonably priced, however I am not against a small car..as long as it's bigger than the one I already have. 2013 is all about fresh starts. And so far it's getting there. Slowly but surely.
Daddy always tells me to not forget to "pay myself". After putting back some for my car, taking care of my financial obligations (gas for the car, lay away, baby needs, etc) so I bought myself some new work shoes. They're really comfy!
These are some pictures from Christmas to today! Cayle got into the baby powder and made a huge mess! I couldn'
t help but laugh. He was pretending it was snowing!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
A slight change
I mentioned before about having furniture on hold at American Freight Warehouse. I had a sofa and a faux leather upholstered bed in layaway. Well..I changed my mind and decided on something a little less costly. Seeing as I have nowhere to put a sofa right now I decided it would be better to upgrade my bedroom instead. I won't have to rent out a storage unit to store the sofa. Which means more money for my car. And more money I can put back for a house. I can get the sofa later so this seems like the smarter route. I've given it some thought and if I play my cards right, I might be able to go straight to buying a home as oppose to renting. The thought of 600+ dollars going out the window every month turns my stomach. So after my car is almost paid for I'll look for a townhome like I want. The American Freight let me switch out the sofa for bed room furniture and all the pieces cost as much as the sofa (actually a little less) so it wasn't going to cost anything extra. All the money I've been paying on what was my sofa and bed can go ahead and be my bedroom stuff. I chose a black set (surprise surprise haha) to match my bed. I'm going for a glam theme for my room. With deep purple, black, zebra print, and paintings of Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn. I want to paint the inside of the drawers of my furniture dark purple or maybe even zebra print to add a touch of my style to it. I think it'll be really nice once I get it all set up. And once I get the payments rolling on my car I think I'm going to buy some bigger ticket items for my home. Like a new television. This way I will be all set up when I get where I want to be.
W-2's come back in a week or so and income taxes soon after. All that money is going towards a new car. I can't wait! I really want to talk my Dad into going to test drive with me next weekend. That way I can have a set in stone idea of what I want and what I have to work towards. I have been building up some $$ and its starting to show! I can't wait to get my car loan!
Kay seems to think Cayle and I need to take a vacation with some of the money from income taxes. She pointed out that we have never stayed anywhere together just the 2 of us. And to be quite honest..she's right. We've never had a vacation just the two of us..and honestly..I think that would be kind of nice. It's just a matter of $$. I'll have a week's vacation time after May 24th. So the time off will be nice..but I think a week off...in Gatlinburg would be even better. So maybe next Fall Cayle and I will take our first vacation together. Seems pretty plausible to me. We'll see how everything with my car loan pans out and how much of my paycheck it will actually be taking.
I've said before about 2013 being all about fresh starts a new car, a better attitude, and a family vacation all seem like great starts. So let's see how it goes. It's all about budgeting right now. And playing the cards just right.
Here is a picture of my bedroom suit I chose and an idea of what it will look like once I paint the inside of the drawers.
W-2's come back in a week or so and income taxes soon after. All that money is going towards a new car. I can't wait! I really want to talk my Dad into going to test drive with me next weekend. That way I can have a set in stone idea of what I want and what I have to work towards. I have been building up some $$ and its starting to show! I can't wait to get my car loan!
Kay seems to think Cayle and I need to take a vacation with some of the money from income taxes. She pointed out that we have never stayed anywhere together just the 2 of us. And to be quite honest..she's right. We've never had a vacation just the two of us..and honestly..I think that would be kind of nice. It's just a matter of $$. I'll have a week's vacation time after May 24th. So the time off will be nice..but I think a week off...in Gatlinburg would be even better. So maybe next Fall Cayle and I will take our first vacation together. Seems pretty plausible to me. We'll see how everything with my car loan pans out and how much of my paycheck it will actually be taking.
I've said before about 2013 being all about fresh starts a new car, a better attitude, and a family vacation all seem like great starts. So let's see how it goes. It's all about budgeting right now. And playing the cards just right.
Here is a picture of my bedroom suit I chose and an idea of what it will look like once I paint the inside of the drawers.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
2013 please be good to me..
This year is dedicated to fresh starts. From the things in my life that cause grief. Whether they be materialistic or emotional or whatever. My resolutions this year will help me succeed and feel like a better all around person, mom, and friend.
The biggest resolution I have that is materialistic is that I want a new car. I want a safer car for Cayle and I to get around in. My Volvo is okay, but in all honesty, it's not big enough, it has too many bad memories attached to it, and just looking at it really and truly brings me down. So after income taxes, I plan on getting the loan and getting a small SUV. Something more efficient. Banking with the credit union and speaking with them about my plans, they made it sound really easy to get a new car. So I'm going big or going home. So here's to getting a fresh start with what I drive.
I want to spend more time with Cayle doing things he loves. When we spend time together it can consist of anything from shopping to a trip to the aquarium. He loves the sharks! But I feel like there should be a happier medium of errands and quality time. So tomorrow I'm going to see what he feels like doing and make it happen! Somehow I think we will end up at pump it up or something along those lines. But still even if we don't go out I want to make our time together special. He means the world to me and I want him to always know he is loved. Work can get in the way of our time, but I have to do it for him. For us to have the best life possible. But it's like the saying goes "Never get too busy making a living that you forget to make a life".
I don't think it would kill me to skip a sweet or a trip to a fast food place. I can't cut out caffeine (I get headaches that last for days if I try) but I can add more water. I can try to do some yoga or go walk outside. I won't label it a "diet" because I won't stick to it, but I can say that I will make healthier choices. I want to try hydroxycut to help it along. Because being on the go all the time makes it hard to always eat healthy. Being a hair stylist (it's a way of life) we eat like scavengers. Whatever we can get whenever we can get it. I've noticed my diet consists of mostly coffee and trail mix now. But I can and will definitely try to take better care of myself physically.
Mentally, I feel like I should stop worrying so much about every little thing. I worry myself sick sometimes. So I want to get more organized. I used to keep a notebook of everything I needed to do, wanted, or needed to remember. So I think I will pick that up again. It helped with my anxiety. Last night I stayed up until 2 a.m. cleaning my living space. It looks better. And I'm really happy with the work I put into it, but I want to take it a step further and clean out all the old clothes I don't wear, things I don't use and either sell them, or give them away to a second hand store. To give me more room and to clear my head a little more.
Also, I am resolving to find a better job. I want somewhere with a schedule closer to 9-5 and two consecutive off days. When I can break away from Regis I will. I will miss my co-workers, but I have to do this for Cayle.
These resolutions will make me a better, happier person. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get there.
The biggest resolution I have that is materialistic is that I want a new car. I want a safer car for Cayle and I to get around in. My Volvo is okay, but in all honesty, it's not big enough, it has too many bad memories attached to it, and just looking at it really and truly brings me down. So after income taxes, I plan on getting the loan and getting a small SUV. Something more efficient. Banking with the credit union and speaking with them about my plans, they made it sound really easy to get a new car. So I'm going big or going home. So here's to getting a fresh start with what I drive.
I want to spend more time with Cayle doing things he loves. When we spend time together it can consist of anything from shopping to a trip to the aquarium. He loves the sharks! But I feel like there should be a happier medium of errands and quality time. So tomorrow I'm going to see what he feels like doing and make it happen! Somehow I think we will end up at pump it up or something along those lines. But still even if we don't go out I want to make our time together special. He means the world to me and I want him to always know he is loved. Work can get in the way of our time, but I have to do it for him. For us to have the best life possible. But it's like the saying goes "Never get too busy making a living that you forget to make a life".
I don't think it would kill me to skip a sweet or a trip to a fast food place. I can't cut out caffeine (I get headaches that last for days if I try) but I can add more water. I can try to do some yoga or go walk outside. I won't label it a "diet" because I won't stick to it, but I can say that I will make healthier choices. I want to try hydroxycut to help it along. Because being on the go all the time makes it hard to always eat healthy. Being a hair stylist (it's a way of life) we eat like scavengers. Whatever we can get whenever we can get it. I've noticed my diet consists of mostly coffee and trail mix now. But I can and will definitely try to take better care of myself physically.
Mentally, I feel like I should stop worrying so much about every little thing. I worry myself sick sometimes. So I want to get more organized. I used to keep a notebook of everything I needed to do, wanted, or needed to remember. So I think I will pick that up again. It helped with my anxiety. Last night I stayed up until 2 a.m. cleaning my living space. It looks better. And I'm really happy with the work I put into it, but I want to take it a step further and clean out all the old clothes I don't wear, things I don't use and either sell them, or give them away to a second hand store. To give me more room and to clear my head a little more.
Also, I am resolving to find a better job. I want somewhere with a schedule closer to 9-5 and two consecutive off days. When I can break away from Regis I will. I will miss my co-workers, but I have to do this for Cayle.
These resolutions will make me a better, happier person. And I'm going to do whatever it takes to get there.
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