Getting started..

Today my phone charger was starting to short when I plugged it in so it was time for a new charger. So I loaded up to go to Walmart. I got my phone charger for $10. And I looked at house stuff. I'm tired of just looking so I actually started buying today. I bought a very important piece to go in my future house. I got a fire proof lock box on sale for $16. So now I can put important papers and money and other valuables in it. I also decided to get gas and combs for school. Surprisingly..my anxiety levels about money went down. I felt better knowing that I was taking care of what I needed and that I still have money left over. I plan on being extremely tight with it though. But the point is..that I started buying house stuff. On a side note..I got Cayle's Easter basket ready and waiting last weekend.!! The basket has a car/lightening mcqueen theme. The basket itself has the Disney's Car characters on it. Inside the basket the "Easter Bunny" put hot wheels, lightening mcqueen bubbles, jelly beans, m&m's, a new lightening mcqueen car, and some more Crayola bath tablets. I hope he likes it. This weekend is going to be fun. Troy is coming to stay with me. My parents are going to knoxville for a few days. He's plays 3 shows the weekend. And I have a pure romance party at Kay's house. Can't wait. :)

Chrometophobia

Fear of money: An abnormal and persistent fear of money. Sufferers experience undue anxiety even though they realize their fear is irrational. They worry that they might mismanage money or that money might live up to its reputation as "the root of all evil."

I've been having this issue with money lately. I'm too scared to spend money. Even if it's on things that I need..like combs for school or gas for the car. I don't know what it is. But here in the past couple of weeks I've noticed I've been hoarding my money so to speak. I got $120 in birthday money and I can't even consider spending it. In some ways it's good, but in others..not to much. I want to save it if I can but there's some things that I can't really do without. All of my combs at school are starting to lose their teeth. I have a little under half a tank of gas in the car. Spring is here and I have no clothes or shoes to fit season. But I can't bring myself to spend it. I looked into getting a bank account and it seems like it would hurt me more so than help me just because my income isn't very steady. And there are monthly rates and what not. So I've just been hoarding money. I'm too scared to even go anywhere where I might spend it.

And the thought that I'll need a new car soon scares the absolute crap out of me. So I just wanted to see about what I like and what would be affordable. I don't want to have to pay more than 12,000. I want a used car, but a reliable source. Carfax. I like the Toyota Camry. I found some online for 11,000- 14,000. They get 38-40 MPGs. And I think that would be my best option. As much as Daddy is pushing me to get an American made car..I just don't think I can afford it. And I can't find any I like. I hardly trust the car I have now..and my gas bill is outrageous for such a small car. 18 gallon gas tank and gas is 3.71 a gallon..that comes out to.....66.78 to fill it completely. Are you kidding me.?? How can I afford that.?? When the car has poor gas mileage anyways. I just can't take it.

Troy and I have toyed with the idea of moving in together next year..and I really like the idea. However, my nature is to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. God forbid something to happen and we don't move in together and it's just me and Cayle. I want to be prepared. And I don't want to be stuck with rent, utilities, groceries, gas, phone, miscellaneous needs, phone, and whatever else..all on 1 income. That scares me. With the both of us it would be easier. But like I said Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. But Troy and I seem to be on the same page as far as all that goes. And I would like for all to work out..but if it were to not work out..I need to be prepared.

Happy Birthday To MEEEEEE.!!!!

I'm FINALLY 20.!! I'm very excited about it too. Today I woke up and watched cartoons with Cayle. Mom, Daddy, and my brother got me birthday cards. I eventually got tired of sitting around the house so I went to Kay's. We drank coffee and got to talk about the pure romance party next weekend. Eventually it was time for my birthday dinner with my family..and Troy. I had a lump in my throat and butterflies in my stomach. This was the first time Daddy met Troy. And honestly it couldn't have gone better.! They talked more than he and I did. And later, Daddy told me he approves. So I'm glad that's out of the way. It was like a huge weight taken off of my back. My present from "Cayle" was bath and body works. And I got another card from Mom and Dad with some money in it. When I got back home I walked across the street to see one of my best friends, Ashley (who is also my wifeyy..long story). She wanted to take me to lunch this week for my birthday. :) And her Dad gave me $20. It was really sweet of them. I got a chocolate cake for my birthday. AND the frosting was purple and ZEBRA print. Is that me or what.? All in all a good birthday. However..this is going to be a LONG year. I want to be 21. Not for the sake of alcohol, but for the free reigns to get in anywhere.

What a great way to start my birthday.!!

Wow. So yesterday I get a phone call from my dad and he says he got me 5 tickets to go see the Tran Siberian Orchestra.!!! I was so surprised. The only problem was finding 4 other people to go with. Most everyone was working or couldn't get a sitter etc..etc. Well, my friend from high school Victoria said she could go. Troy had to work but he asked if his friends (who I've spent time with too) Tony and his girlfriend Jessica could go. Well of course I didn't mind so we all went together. Our seats were center stage a few rows back. The orchestra had fire during some parts of their show and we could feel the heat coming off of the stage. That's how close we were. The orchestra donated 2,000 dollars from the ticket earnings to help the tornado victims of Chattanooga.

The show itself was incredible.!!! The lights, the stage presence, the music, the story.. ALL of it. I was so happy to be there. I danced. I clapped. I cheered. I really enjoyed myself.

For those of you who don't know who the Orchestra is please check them out. They're not your typical orchestra.!






I turn 20 on Sunday. I must say I'm pretty excited to not be a teen anymore. Maybe now some people will take me seriously. But as far as plans go on my actual birthday..I'd really like to get my nails done. And a couple new shirts or something like that. I need some Spring clothes. Troy took the day off to spend with me. And my parents want to take me to dinner that night........and Troy is going. I'm so nervous. Troy hasn't met Daddy yet. I think I'll have a heart attack. But Troy is an awesome guy. He and my dad have some things in common so I think it should go well. Wish us luck on that one. I'd like to see some of my friends too. Maybe get together for a day at the zoo with the kids or something. Anyone interested in that.?

10 weeks left.?!

Oh my goodness.!! I never thought I'd see the day.!! I checked my hours at school today and I have 205 left. If I clock 20 hours a week 10 weeks in a row I'll graduate.! I'm so proud of myself. There have been so many times where I've just wanted to quit and now that I'm down to the wire..I'm more determined than ever to finish.!! I've had so many pep talks along the way from the people who care about me. My friends. My family. And seeing Cayle every day just makes me wanna finish that much more. I want to be able to say 'Look at me now' to all of those people who just assumed I wouldn't do it or couldn't do it. I want to make something of myself. And being the extremely ambitious person that I am, I'll make sure I make the best of myself. For not only me, but for the little boy who needs me.

So, I want to say thank you to those of you who have pepped talked with me for all the times where I just couldn't handle it, for all those times where day to day just brought me to my breaking point, and for those of you who have come to the school to support me and what I'm trying to do. You know who you are. I love you guys. And I owe you guys big time for all the support.

Ten weeks seems like no time at all. Considering how long I've been in school. That's two and a half months to get everything together to take my boards and get to work. And it's not just a job..but a career. I don't really see this as work though..just because I enjoy doing it so much (when I actually get the chance to). It's very rewarding. Wish me luck on this last 10 weeks. It's the final stretch.

Nothing like a day with little man..and my best friend to make a weekend better.

I decided it would be best to spend the weekend away from the house. So I spent it with Kay and Cayle. Today, we spent most of the day around her house. And I got to vent to her about everything going on and that felt amazing. We went walking around Walmart to look at house stuff..and I found a lot of stuff I really liked..and can't wait to buy. Haha. We went to Kirklands too. They're going out of business. Thanks for that tip Christina. I couldn't find much, but Kay found a lot of stuff she liked. For that store about to close, they're still expensive. Only 20% off everything. Ah well, after that we went to Sonic and got slushies. And Cayle got sweet tea. We played Just Dance 3 on the Wii. I swear, we are beasts on that thing. It's a good work out too. I've noticed my arms and chest getting more toned from it. We're planning a Pure romance party at the end of the month so we sat down and planned the food and party favors..and we have to make a Spencer's run next weekend. Cayle loves Kay and her husband Josh. I'm glad I have a 2 year old that I can take anywhere with me. It makes my life so much easier.

You know...I'm surprised..I left the house while my parents were out today..around 2:30..and I didn't get home until 10:30..and I didn't have a phone call or txt message from anyone at the house today. That was odd for me. I'm usually called to ask where I am. I guess they knew it would be best to leave me be. I'm not mad about the room swap..like I said before..I'm mad that my opinions, requests, thoughts, ideas, and decisions are never accounted for. Prime example I clean the house before school, I leave for 5 hours, and come home to trashed house. A sink full of dishes with an empty dishwasher. Food left in the skillets. Toys all over the place. Towels that aren't in the basket. What kind of crap is that?? Seriously. I dunno. I need to stop before I get angry again.

On the plus side. I am getting a haircut as an early birthday gift to myself. I'm so very excited. I can get my hair cut at school..but I don't like it as much as I do when my personal stylist cuts it. She gets it exactly how I want it. And it grows out very pretty. I'll post pictures soon. And on my birthday (I usually get money) I'd like to have my nails done. The rest of the money I plan on saving. I want to open a savings account within the next two weeks..so we'll see I guess.

I feel like all I'm good for is a free haircut.

Yes, I'm venting. Sorry. All of a sudden my brother decides he wants Cayle's room because it's bigger. So my parents jump right on giving him what he wants. Without even asking me what I think or what I want. My opinion doesn't matter. Why couldn't this have waited until I moved.? He could've had any damn room he wanted then. Pardon my French. So to be blunt..I really feel like my opinions in this house are dust in the wind. And the only thing I'm good for is a free hair service. That's the only time I come in 'handy' anymore...unless I'm cleaning something. People think since I'm family that they don't have to pay me. No. Sorry. I have bills. I have a baby. I'm in school. I need my money. I'm sick of getting screwed out of money. Sick of getting overruled on things that apply to my kid. So with this next bit of money I get..I'm buying house things and making sure everyone knows. I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of feeling like I don't matter in my own home.!!! I guess..this was just building up for a while. And having NO say whatsoever in this room swap was the final straw for me. I'm sick of this.

So to move forward with my plans to move out.. I plan to (within the next few months)

-open a bank account

- save some more money

- buy house stuff

I think for my birthday if I can afford it..I want a tattoo. I should save the money..but the tat is small and shouldn't cost much. I want 'It can't rain all the time...' on my shoulder. I love the saying..and I can't help but notice that it applies in several aspects of my life.

Eh I dunno. I'm not at my best right now..but seeing Kay and Troy helped a lot. I spent most of the day with Kay, and I went to Troy's band practice to hear the new songs. They sound great. Troy gave me something he made at school in the workshop tonight as an early birthday gift. It was from the heart. I was happy. And tonight...as I left..Troy's mom told me she loves me..to me..that to me..sounds like things between Troy and I are getting serious if the family already loves me...right.?

I dunno. Things in my brain are so jumbled. I think I just need to talk it out.

Spring picture post.

This week has been a pretty okay week. I had 2 clients this week at school (including my weekly roller set lady) so I've been somewhat busy at school. Today Cayle and I went outside to play. He rode his big wheel and played on the playground at my grandmother's house. She has it set up for all the grand kids to play on when they come over. So I decided to take pictures for the scrapbook...which is coming along nicely I might add. ;)












I've been thinking a lot about Cayle's Easter basket..and I'm really drawing a blank. I would love to do a themed basket, but at the same time I like the idea of hunting for your prizes for your basket. But I also like the idea of putting together a unique basket of things he likes like hot wheels, bath drops from crayola, jelly beans, bath crayons, and maybe a new cup. But I don't know. Any ideas.?

My New Orleans Adventure. (picture heavy)

All I have to say is WOW.! What a journey.! Our trip began on Thursday. We drove all the way to Meridian, Mississippi to stay the night. Cayle was such a good traveler. I was really impressed. He had the DVD player in to watch so he watched movies the whole ride. We ate at Logan's that night. Daddy and I talked. It was so nice to be with my dad and Cayle. Very seldom do I get alone time with Daddy. The next morning we had breakfast in the hotel and hit the road and made it ALL the way to New Orleans. But when we got across the bridge and to the hotel..we got a phone call from 911. My mom had been trapped. Fifteen trees had fallen on and around her car. The fire fighters got her out. She had 3 tiny cuts on her. She was so lucky. The Tahoe..11,000 dollars worth of damage done. We got it totaled. And 9,000 dollars towards a new car. She's sharing my car. I'm so relieved she's okay. Once we got to talk to her she insisted we stay in New Orleans.
Once we got unpacked and settled in, we went downtown to sight see. This was breath taking. The buildings, the memorial gardens, the Mississippi River all of it.! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.!! We went to dinner at the Acme Oyster House. I had the best char grilled oysters I've ever had.! I love oysters, and these were out of this world.! We went to the grocery store and got snacks for the stay. The next morning we decided to do some walking downtown. I saw the Jackson square cathedral, bourbon street, the Mississippi river. And the French Market. We had lunch at another sea food place. And again, we had a dozen char grilled oysters.
The next day we went to the aquarium. Cayle LOVED this. The aquarium is about the size of the Ripley's aquarium in Gatlinburg. Maybe a little bigger. They had a WHITE alligator.! And a snake as big as a telephone pole.! Needless to say I ran from it. Hahah. We walked back down to the French Market to do some more shopping. There's a lot of art in the market. A lot of medias I've never seen before. There were street performers everywhere you turned. And people who pretended to be statues.! People do almost anything to make money down there. I got to go inside Jackson Square cathedral. My goodness..this was the most beautiful church I've ever seen. The inside was painted like the Sistine chapel. There were candles, and statues everywhere.!
That night we went to this little cafe called Morning Call. And I got my first taste of beignets and some of the strongest coffee in Nola. Beignets taste like funnel cake, but better. They're very tasty. And the coffee..lets just say I used TONS of sugar. Cayle only wanted the powdered sugar off of them. Morning Call has been around for almost 150 years. And nothing about it has changed.
We did a lot of shopping in Nola. They have about 3 malls that I saw. Daddy, Cayle and I spent the day exploring them. I got some goodies from Victoria's Secret. Cayle got a Cars play set from the Disney store (that he still hasn't put down). And Daddy got some cigars. He likes to collect them.
On our very last day in Nola, we spent it at the zoo.! And this zoo was AWESOME.!! They had everything from sea lions to white tigers.! It was such a big zoo.! Cayle liked seeing all the animals. He even knew what some of them were without me telling him. Getting to the zoo was the fun part. The houses down in Nola were so pretty.!!! I loved seeing how different everything was from where I live. We ate at a very nice sea food place that night. And continued trying the char grilled oysters. And these were the best.! We made one last stop at Morning Call for coffee and beignets and made our way back to the room.
My experience in New Orleans was one of my best vacations ever. I had so much fun being somewhere completely different from Chattanooga. And to be honest..I was pretty sad to leave it. I definitely plan to go back. This trip was exactly what I needed. I was able to buy some souvenirs. I got a ring with the fleur de lis crest on it. A cup from the zoo. And a Bourbon Street glass for Troy. Cayle got a cup from the zoo, and I'm scrapbooking our tickets and pictures soon. I have more pictures on my Facebook page if anyone is interested in seeing them :)