I can't take much more..

I'm so tired of living at home. Granted..I dont pay bills but..I'm not happy here anymore. I ask for something that I NEED..not want..but need..and its like nobody here cares enough to help me. I need more hours at school..but nobody will watch cayle for me until four. I CANT be another year without a job. I just cant do it. I'm given barely enough money to keep my head above water. My car is pretty much almost always out of gas..and it would get better gas mileage if someone would get it fixed for me.But that need is looked right over. It takes me breaking down in east jesus nowhere before someone will even look up or pay attention long enough to help me..Nobody in this house even knows I'm here. Nobody says anything to me when I leave or come home. Nobody asks how I am or how my days been. I do NOTHING but clean and take care of Cayle and clean some more. I never hear a thank you or a compliment on the house..nothing. I dont have much of anyone left to talk to..my friends are out living their lives with their kids or doing the whole...'going away to college thing.' It really breaks my heart when I think about it..so like everything else I just keep it all inside..It's like the only thing I have that's going right is my relationship with adam..and his relationship with cayle. Adam and I are talking more and more about moving in together and it shows me how serious he is about it. I just wish it could be sooner because not only would I be able to live my life and make more of my own choices..I could help adam get to and from work. His car broke down last week. His family won't help him. My dad was going to sell him the jeep..but it wont even start. I took him to easy auto..and he found a car he likes..affording another bill is a totally different story. His roommate is a complete jackass. He spends his entire paycheck on his totally ditzy girlfriend and clothes he doesnt need. He wont buy his own food. He eats all of adam's. He cant even make rent this month. And he said to adam "you know, erica would be hotter than my girlfriend if she lost alot of her weight." My weight has been a constant struggle for me ever since I was four years old. I honestly see myself as a fat cow. And the only time I was really happy with how I looked..was when I didnt eat much of anything. people may compliment me on how I look..but honestly..it doesnt help. no, im not digging for compliments or anything..this is the cold hard truth. I cant take much more..I just need a way out that lasts for more than a few hours....I've decided to not eat after noon each day and drink nothing carbonated..I dont know what else to do..for the first time in a long time im at a loss for words.