Monday, May 9, 2011
Blogging about my day..
It was usual for the most part. My car is finally getting fixed..the downside is that I am only getting 55$ this week due to a stupid fight mom and I got into over gas..I need my 75$ a week. I dunno how I'm gonna make this stretch. Any ideas.? I'm just happy my car is getting fixed..thats another thing I can cross off my list. Hopefully its something simple. That's all I'm asking for. So I'll have a car by the end of next week hopefully. I really do. And..it's got almost a half a tank of gas so my first gas bill won't kill me. I really don't know how I'm gonna make that money stretch. I have some things I really need to get..and a few things I wanna get a head start on..and I don't see how it's gonna happen..I stress over money so easily. I guess it'll be ok. Needless to say..mom and I aren't talking..once again. You know..i'm sorry..but I need to rant for a second..But I am SICK and TIRED of feeling like the maid here. I'm tired of being alone almost 24/7. I wake up alone..I sit at school alone..I come home to be alone. If it weren't for Cayle..I'd probably go nuts. I'm sick of being snapped at when I'm doing the best I can do. I'm sick of nobody ever saying thank you. I've had it. I don't feel appreciated..and in a way..I feel like I've run my course at my house..You know.? And it's days like this that make me sooooo ready to move out..so I can come home to MY family and I can be with MY family. I can do family traditions I want. And I can do things MY way. It won't be long..and they will miss me. And they will see how much I actually do and how they'll miss Cayle being there all the time..and to be honest..it's days like today that make me think when I move out and they call asking to see cayle part of me wants to say 'we're busy.' or just flat out no. But that isn't fair to Cayle. I want him to have his grandparents in his life..but I hate the way they do me sometimes...it just really burns me up. You know mother's day they all went out shopping and didn't even ask if I wanted to go.? Is that really what I'm reduced to.? Sitting at home every day alone.?? It's really depressing..and some days I really feel like crying..I really don't mean to sound like a big baby or whatever...I just hate being left alone so much. It really gets to you after a while. I can't wait to have my car back..it'll make all this a little easier.
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Are you kidding? They went without you? That's wrong. It was your Mother's Day too.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the money goes, right now, I would just go to school and back and that's it. And then maybe she will go back up on what you get when you and her start talking again.
I know how you feel. Around the time Samantha was 18 or 20 months, that is when I said, "This is it. We HAVE GOT to move out!" I couldn't take it anymore. We weren't wanted there. My Mom kept saying that "things would be easier on her without us." (She wasn't saying that once we moved because we weren't paying half her bills anymore, and she was hurting worse than us. It's not my fault though. She ran us off.) Anyway, I am sorry you are feeling that way. Like I said, I know how it feels to wantout so bad. I couldn't sleep at one point. That is when I started packing, and didn't give Jessie a choice.