Saturday, May 28, 2011

I never realized how afraid I was of...

Crossing bridges, home invasions, and being stalked.

When Kay, Josh, Cayle, and I had our funny car adventure downtown we had to cross over the market street bride..and this bridge has some metal plates in it that you can see through. I always get a huge lump in my throat whenever I have to go over ANY bridge..and I didnt notice this until very recently..I didn't even realize I was afraid of it.

Last night I got so paranoid for some reason. I started watching this show called ' I Survived' and it has me soo paranoid. I watched a story about this woman last night who was raped, robbed, bashed in the skull with a hammer, and cut with a butcher's ax. And survived. The man who did this to her..said he had been in the house for 2 days..listening..and he KNEW she would be alone the day he attacked her. I was up till 5 just listening to my house. It really scared me to really think about how many sick people there are in this world. And how I pray that Cayle never has to endure something like that..or anyone I love has to endure it. They managed to catch the guy and he is serving two life times plus thirty years in prison.

Do you ever have the feeling your being watched.? I get it a lot..and it always makes me wonder. I'm paranoid to answer private calls and to walk to my car alone at night. The last time that private caller called me was about a week and a half ago and when I answered it sounded like my crazy ex. And..to be honest..I fear he would set my house on fire or rip the brakes out of my car. I may be paranoid..but I'm scared to death I will wake up to find Cayle gone or go to check on him in the middle of the night and he be standing over his crib. That's another reason I'm more than ready to move out. He'll never find us. I'm terrified of him coming back..or stalking me from a distance. Paranoid.? Maybe.

1 comment:

  1. There was an episode of CSI once where there was a guy living in the girl's attic, and she never knew it. He had cut peep holes in every room so he could watch her, and he eventually killed her. That episode he creeped me out ever since. I know that's not real, but I wouldn't put that past a crazy man. So yea, you're not alone.
    I also hate walking to the bathroom alone at night. Our bathroom is on the opposite side of our place from our room.. I'm always terrified that I'm going to turn the corner and there be someone standing there.. I'm a very paranoid person. That is why Grace is currently sleeping in Brentley's room.. it's right next to ours, and her actualy room is all the way on the other side of the house. I can't be that far away from her. I feel like it would be wayyyyyy too easy for someone to come in and kidnap her.

    Also, bridges have always freaked me out since there was that huge one somewhere here in American that collapsed a few years ago. Tons of people died. The bridge I hate driving over most is the one over the Chickamauga Dam.

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